Email: rachelkramerbussel at


Lusty Lady

Watch my first and favorite book trailer for Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica. Get Spanked in print and ebook

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

3 June books (and 2 others) I cannot wait to read: Ink Flamingos, Uncommon Criminals, Fins are Forever

Here are three books I'm thrilled will be coming out in June and cannot wait to devour. Like, plan to buy on release day or stalk in case I can find them sooner.

2 more YA books I also want to read:

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Cupcakes and toner and writing goals and belated sex diaries links

Crazy busy these days but you can always keep up with me at Cupcakes Take the Cake, and on Twitter and Tumblr. If Blogger worked on the iPhone...well, who knows? I'm not holding my breath.

I found cupcakes at Sweet (see below and stay tuned to CTTC for a review) this weekend in Cambridge and Boston. And at Lush, where I got the incredible toner you see below; I guess by now I expect, somewhat, to turn around in a store and see cupcakes but it's still a bit surprising, like they are following me or something. I am normally a take-it-or-leave-it toner girl, but my skin is really dry and this feels super refreshing. One of my will-finally-feel-like-a-real-writer goals is to break into the journal Brevity, where all the cool kids are published. It's, perhaps, a slightly petty goal, but fuck it: I'm petty. Full disclosure. I've also decided that in light of last week's awfulness, I'm gonna write whatever the fuck I want, and if you don't like it, I really don't care. That might sound bitchy but it's either that or carry around so many fears way heavier than my bags will ever be. I'm so over that. I'm also planning to submit to Salon's excellent Mortifying Disclosures section, where Lena Chen wrote "I was the Harvard harlot" and Taffy Brodesser-Akner, who I can't believe I haven't been keeping up with (Google News alert was immediately activated after a search of her, who I remember from back in her Mediabistro days, and her excellent essays, who wrote, "Tales of a recovering blabbermouth."

And I owe you a post highlighting the individual sex diaries, but I'd love for you to click on over and check them out (one is coming today, in lieu of yesterday). Some I personally relate to more than others, but they are always an interesting look at someone's sex life in an unfiltered way that stirs up discussion. Working on them has made me realize how rarely many of us get to have those discussions. I'm lucky in that I have them with my close friends and once in a while with strangers, but I too have plenty of things I feel fearful or ashamed of or confused about regarding my sexuality. I'm excited to return to writing fiction after a way-too-long-lazy-loser hiatus. I feel plenty ashamed about that and am hoping this is a productive week; it better be with two books do and submissions flooding in!

The sex diaries run every Monday and I'm the editor and the info is at the bottom of the diary but if you know a New Yorker bold enough to anonymously document their sex life for a week (and get paid for it), have them email me at sexdiaries at with their basic story.

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Sunday, May 29, 2011

MIT Museum robot

No time to do the whole museum justice, but I highly recommend the MIT Museum in Cambridge, Massachusetts. I saw a self-portrait of Lady Gaga taken with a Polaroid, a Frenchy fry-adorned Polaroid, glass art, robots galore, 1960's protest video, a kitty purring Google app and much more. I expected it to be super technical, scientific and over my head but it was actually fascinating and MIT people are behind all sorts of things from coffee research to Rock Band to One Laptop Per Child.

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Friday, May 27, 2011

August 25: Celebrate Obsessed and The Lost with me, Caridad Piñeiro, and Tied Up Events

Just a heads up, I'll post details like time when I know them. I'm partnering with Tied Up Events, who run Chat Lounge, to have a book party on Thursday, August 25th at Fontana's at 105 Eldridge Street between Grand and Broome on the Lower East Side (NYC) for Obsessed: Erotic Romance for Women (click to read my introduction and the table of contents - it's a great one), edited by me, and The Lost, a paranormal romance by Caridad Piñeiro®, who also wrote the foreword for Obsessed. Yes, there will be free snacks and free cupcakes (would it be a party of mien without those??). Probably my only book party this year.

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Dear Seattle, your free cupcake menu awaits June 27th - see you at Babeland!

If you come to my Babeland Seattle reading with Shanna Germain and Naked Girls Reading burlesque performers Jesse Belle-Jones, Polly Wood and Heidi Von Haught, you'll also be served 5 dozen cupcakes from Cupcake Royale. I don't skimp on readings! Capitol Hill for the win! We'll all be reading from the hotness that is Gotta Have It. June 27th, a month from today, see you (and, hopefully, your Seattle friends), there!! Your official Facebook invite is right here. You might have to fight me for the salted, I will go beforehand and eat a full-size one all by myself, cause they are ridiculously good. Also, hello? They have a flavor in June called "gay." I obviously had to get it. I'm sure someone will be reading a queer story. Or several someones.

Baby raspberry rhubarb (rhubarb cake w/raspberry cream cheese frosting)
Baby gay (vanilla funfetti cake w/vanilla buttercream and rainbow sprinkles)
Baby peppermint on chocolate
Baby salted caramel
Baby triple threat

Get your free cupcakes and hot smut:

June 27, 6-8 pm
707 E. Pike Street
Seattle, WA

Salted caramel is the one on the top; see more of my photos from Cupcake Royale Capitol Hill on Flickr.

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My December book hotness: Women in Lust and Best Bondage Erotica 2012

These are my two December book covers – I have zero information on their contents because they are still being finalized, but I promise you they’ll be hot, and that Best Bondage Erotica 2012 is heavy on the female domination but, not to worry, those who like to read about women being tied up and teased and spanked and all sorts of fun things like that, there is plenty of that too. I’m so excited about these, even though the actual process of finishing the books makes me feel like I’ve never done this before and never want to again. Maybe that means something. Very soon I should have the table of contents for Women in Lust. Official pub date on Amazon is November 8th, 2 days before my birthday, so that means I should have it in my hands by mid-October. Follow me @raquelita on Twitter to find out how to get your free copy to review on - flaky people, don't even bother, really. I usually send out those Tweets a few weeks in advance, so in June will be asking for reviewers for my summer release, Obsessed (click for cover and details) - stay tuned for Obsessed book party info, but short version is, August 25th at Fontana's in NYC (Lower East Side).

So, if you are at all inclined to buy these, pre-ordering helps the books by letting Amazon or whoever you pre-order from know there’s a market for them. Not to put too fine a point on it, but if the sales don’t pan out, the series won’t continue, and that would be a damn shame. I’ll have more about them later and if you are some brilliant marketing whiz and have an idea of where I should be buying ad space or what I should be doing, save for getting naked in a book trailer (dying laughing on that one since Amazon rejected my Passion trailer, with all its HOT SEXY KISSING as too risque), do let me know. Right now, I will be a happy editor if I actually get them filed and out of my way so I can move on to projects that maybe are a smidge easier to deal with.

Anyway, even if you don't read them, you can appreciate the hotness - I'm SO thankful to be working with Cleis Press where they come up with dazzling covers and give me a say. If you saw the horror show that was my book Glamour Girls you'll know how the opposite of glamour it was, which is why no one bought it...well, I wouldn't really know cause Haworth went under, but that was a bad experience. I had one day to approve it and couldn't really say no. Sometimes indie publishing sucks, and sometimes it's awesome. Glad I'm on team awesome!

Click on covers below to pre-order from Amazon. Other links TK when the time comes.

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Thursday, May 26, 2011

Waking up next to her makes a rough week a little better

Trying to snap out of this rough week's mindset so I can appreciate my vacation this weekend and leave the ills of New York and self-sabotage behind. Excited to spend some time away and also to come back and hopefully have both perspective and creativity, two things I've been lacking lately. Waking up next to this fluffy, friendly one has helped, and I get to do it next week too!

When I was little I always begged my mom for a cat. "If you're not going to get me a cat, don't get me anything," I said before I think my 8th or 9th birthday. But I was allergic and we lived in an apartment building where they weren't allowed. I wasn't hearing it. I honestly don't know if I'd be good at taking care of a cat in the long-term, but I don't have to worry about that. In the short time, like tonight and tomorrow morning, I get to cuddle with her, which is perfect, cause talking to people I would probably not be so successful at right now.

It's such a close shot cause she was lying on my chest. So, onward. I am very good at lamenting what I haven't done, but am trying to focus on what I can do in the moment, like write about BEA fatigue. And masturbation. And gay threesomes. The usual mix. I will tell you that the best book I got at BEA (obviously haven't read them all, but I can tell) is Pesi Dinnerstein's forthcoming memoir from Seal Press, A Cluttered Life: Searing for God, Serenity, and My Missing Keys. I grabbed it this morning...after frantically looking for my keys.

She nails things in just the first few pages I've read that could be straight out of my head, about the reasons behind hoarding and clutter and filling ourselves up with all the things we fill ourselves up with, women like us. I am trying not to do that, yet that process seeps in, whether it's filling up my hand with to do list items or my bags or my home or my mouth. Unlearning, or avoiding, lifelong bad habits is extremely challenging. They are comforting even when they're clearly dysfunctional, hence I make the same errors when it comes to not finishing, procrastinating, spending, clutter, whatever, over and over again. It's why I'd rather not drink at all than even give myself the option.

I'd rather choose nothing because I don't think I'll ever be fully rid of my all or nothing mindset; that's the rationale behind my short-lived dating hiatus. I couldn't trust myself and my "all" in terms of dating was both literal and full of bad decisions, ones that often, in the moment, felt good. I could talk myself into justifying them just like I do with all the other arenas where I'm careening into negative behaviors. It's not just a daily thing but sometimes an hourly, or by the minute, process of pulling myself out of that darkness. I almost lost it yesterday with such a wave of self-hatred I could barely get myself back for my signing, let alone smile and act happy to sign books. But I did and by the end I actually was kindof happy to have signed all the copies of Gotta Have It that were placed in front of me. I gave out swag and people not only looked excited to read the book, lots were giving it as gifts, and I wrote down the URL for the hotel erotica anthology I'm editing. Thank you to everyone who came to that signing for helping me see that failure isn't such an all or nothing prospect. It's one (or, okay, three or ten) failures, paired with lots of successes. There isn't a scorecard; it's just life, and sometimes I make good decisions and live up to my potential, and sometimes I bomb hard. I know there is a lesson in the bombing; I'm still trying to figure out what that is and find a way to prove to myself that I can meet my goals. I can't try to live up to anyone else's goals for me; that is a road to ruin, but I can make goals for myself and hold myself accountable, and that is what I'm trying to do in this crazy year of 35 that much of the time I just wish were over.

One lesson I learned this week is that having a cat stick her wet little nose all up in my face and show me so much unconditional love was both adorable and really healing. She doesn't care in the least about any of my human flaws and problems and I totally needed that. It was an unexpected bit of catsitting and I'm very grateful for the opportunity.

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Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Bisexual guy + voyeur girlfriend in "The Female Gaze" in Sweet Confessions

Lately I've had some kind of issue with writing. I miss it, I think about it a lot, I come up with scenarios and titles, I start stories and essays and pitches but...I don't seem to quite finish them. Maybe I start too many, or maybe I sleep too late, or maybe I just need a vacation. It sucks, though, because I know those ideas could've been worthy and would've had a good chance of being accepted. I do have a few stories pending that my fingers are (virtually) crossed on, but I don't want to keep making that mistake over and over. It does mean that the stories I have sold, I'm extra proud of. One is "The Female Gaze," which will be in Violet Blue's July 1st Cleis Press anthology Sweet Confessions: Erotic Fantasies for Couples.

Below is all the sneak peek you're gonna should pre-order the book so you can read the whole thing! The title was inspired by the seemingly umpteen times I had to read people like Laura Mulvey and John Berger and Michel Foucault in my women's studies classes at UC Berkeley. My politics were very different but one thing I think I can safely say remains the same is that I'm not an academic and never will be. The male gaze is an interesting concept but I think when it comes to erotica and sexuality so many of these topics can be played with, fucked with, if you will. No offense if you dig those writers; my point was my title played on that, and also the idea that "men are more visual than women," which I think is such a broad stereotype as to be useless. I'm totally a voyeur, much, much more so than I am an exhibitionist. I also kindof wanted to turn the straight guy + bisexual women trope on its head a bit. And I did (well, you can be the judge).

The Female Gaze
by Rachel Kramer Bussel

Ever since they’d started dating three years before, Alex had been telling Rory about the boys who hit on him--the men, the bears, the daddies, the ones who looked like they were barely legal, the silver foxes, the shy boys who found in him a kinship, or just a look, a lust, an impulse. “The bartender comped my drink, then slipped me his number. Do I have to put on a wedding band before they get the picture?” he’d ask, chuckling as he kissed her lightly.

She ran her hands through his thick black hair before telling him that a wedding ring had never been a deterrent to men hooking up with other men. Maybe she should have been bothered by people checking out her man, the one who’d once been a model and graced ads for Calvin Klein underwear and Brooks Brothers before deciding that he really preferred environmental law. But she didn’t mind, not really, and certainly didn’t begrudge these men their hungry stares, their heartfelt offers. The women she could do without, the ones who blatantly clocked her man while they walked down the street, the ones who she could tell would him into the bathroom for a quickie if they thought they could get away with it. Rory wasn’t sure why, exactly, the former amused her and the latter annoyed her, but there it was. Actually, it was more than that; the thought of these men kissing her boyfriend, running their hands all over his firm, muscular body, swallowing his cock, plundering his bottom as she’d only fantasized about doing, well, it turned her on.

She couldn’t help but wonder if they saw in Alex the same things she did. Was that possible? Were they clairvoyant--or just horny? Was he just another pretty face or did they want him to speak to them in that booming, low voice? Did they want him to order them around, like she did? “Touch yourself for me. Show me how wet you are. Fuck yourself with the vibrator I got you.” Would Alex be a top or a bottom in bed with a man? The more these men propositioned him, the more Rory found these naughty images creeping into her mind when she was alone, when she let her fingers wander between her lips and her mind go free.

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Free erotica books (Gotta Have It) at BEA tomorrow; new jewelry by Objets d'Envy

Crazy busy with a bazillion deadlines, plus tomorrow I'm going to Book Expo America, where I've been going every year since I think 2002, certainly before anyone ever entertained the notion of having me edit (or, uh, write) a book. I love it, though I think my enthusiasm level has dialed down marginally; mostly, I am looking forward to having time to actually read all the amazing books that have come into my possession lately, like the memoirs Wanderlust by Elisabeth Eaves and My Year with Eleanor by Noelle Hancock and the novel America Pacifica by Anna North and...lots of others. I am excited to pick up a copy of Between Here and Forever by one of my favorite YA authors, Elizabeth Writes, meet with my publicist from Rare Bird Lit and generally stuff as many free books into my bags as I can, and hunt down publicists I pester with emails all year. And maybe someone will be serving cupcakes, or at least little snacks. I so can't wait until I take the first true vacation I've had in longer than I can remember this weekend. Sortof a sad statement that on my own I don't let myself take vacations, but thankfully that is changing and I get to explore Boston with someone who I don't seem to get to see enough of here and who knows it better than I do and is willing to walk all over the place with me (I think).

If you follow me on Twitter you already know how to get free books if you are up for reviewing (next will be Obsessed, which I'll be sending out in early July, stay tuned for giveaways and a NYC book party!). Anyway, tomorrow I will be bringing hundreds of postcards (decluttering for the win!) and if I remember, book buttons (I got them made for Please, Sir and Passion and somehow now have thousands of buttons taking up space in my home). So stop by and say hi and get a copy of Gotta Have It signed.

May 25, 1 pm - 2 pm and 3 pm-4 pm


You have two chances to get a free signed copy of Gotta Have It: 69 Stories of Sudden Sex, plus free book buttons!

1-2 pm I'll be at the Cleis Press booth, 4625A, and 3-4 pm I'll be in the autographing area (look for me).

Jacob Javits Center, NYC

I'm a huge fan of Chicago-based jewelry company Objets d'Envy and my new favorite of theirs is their Demi necklace. I have it in three colors and am a little obsessed. Here's one of them:

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Monday, May 23, 2011

"Fishnet Queen," "Lap Dance Lust" and "Doing the Dishes" coming soon to an e-reader near you

self-portrait in white fishnets

I’m making the leap into offering my short stories for sale on Amazon for download, probably for 99 cents each, once I figure out exactly how to do it. One of them will be “Fishnet Queen.” Also “Lap Dance Lust” and “Doing the Dishes.” If you have any story requests, let me know!

From "Fishnet Queen" by me:

First thing I see are her legs, clad in the kind of stockings that make me hard just by thinking about them: fishnets. Her legs are long, and in her mini skirt, which rides up her thigh, I can see her pale skin augmented by the tightly woven black pattern that seems made just for her. She doesn’t just wear the fishnets, she owns them. I've seen women try to rock fishnets who simply can't pull them off, who wear them as if they were any other kind of stockings, tugged on hastily during a rushed morning, ripped in spots, slammed into sneakers, used and abused in the most careless manner possible.

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I have a feeling this Kamikaze PR for Artists Workshop will be $99 very well spent

I'm very excited about this online PR workshop I just signed up for. Even though I've been booking readings for a decade and have made book trailers, hosted a reading series, taught classes and done lots of things I've spent a lot of time promoting, I feel like I am still missing some key elements. It's hard and frustrating to feel like you are wasting time, energy and money that could be better spent in creative pursuits. At the same time, I feel like I owe it to my books to give them the biggest push I can. Stay tuned for a summer book party! I know, I said I'm out of the events game, but this time I'm partnering with people who know how to throw a damn good party. Considering how much I've spent on publicists, buttons, postcards, book trailers, book ads and traveling to events, I am very eager to hear Kathy's tips and put them into action, just in time for the publication of Obsessed: Erotic Romance for Women in mid-July (that's the book I'm looking at a late August NYC book party for).

You can find out all about the workshop and watch a trailer at Crafty Chica Kathy Cano-Murillo's blog, but here's the basics:

WEEK 1: The Foundation of You: Becoming Newsworthy. Exercises in writing a compelling bio, organizing your web site, blogging tips, mission statement, taglines, finding specific gems in your business that you can market, energizing your platform, being alluring, and much more.

WEEK 2: Crafting the Perfect Pitch. From one-sheets to elevator pitches, I'll share what has worked for me, along with tips for testimonials, keeping your vibe fresh, working with local media, booking events and appearances, media tools, editorial packages for your blog or design themes, trending. It's all about "the hook" and you'll learn the art of it!

WEEK 3: Writing a Press Release and contact letters. By this time, you'll know who you want to market to and what your story angles are. You'll learn the old school style of releases, as well as the new and create a mash-up between the two that is tailored to your brand and business. You'll learn the do's and don'ts of these, as well as cover letters and contacting editors and producers by email.

WEEK 4: Spreading the word and following up! This is where we put it all together! I'll show you all the different techniques for getting the word out, following up, sending swag, press invites, the right and wrong way to send packages, blog hops, submitting to big sites, cross promoting, networking online and in person, working with sponsors, pitching to networks, SEO, writing good blog headlines, keywords, tips for viral marketing, look books and press kits.

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5 graduation cupcake toppers on Etsy, plus Seattle excitement building

5 graduation cupcake toppers on Etsy - I'm proud of this Cupcakes Take the Cake post! Love researching the minutiae of cupcake culture, and making it timely, at that.

Looking forward to trying more cupcakes in Boston this weekend (and some heavy duty walking - less than 5 weeks til the Rock N Roll (Half) Marathon)! At this point, if I don't walk all 13 miles, I won't be kicking myself. I haven't trained as hard as I could have, but I do hope I will be able to do at least 11 in the 4 hours alloted. Then I will retire to my hotel and luxuriate and relax and maybe get some Sweet Iron Waffles.

And then prepare for one of the hottest readings I've ever done - Monday, June 27th, 6-8 pm at Babeland in Capitol Hill - I will be bombarding you with information/begging you to make it a packed one. For now, while I get that everyone wants to RSVP on Facebook to tell us why they can't make it, I will ask that if you can't make it, please do me a gigantic favor and tell your Seattle friends (you can use that handy Facebook link). It's a free event, with free cupcakes, and Naked Girls Reading reading from Gotta Have It, and Shanna Germain in from Portland. And free copies of SexIs Magazine (print edition). Trust me, it's gonna be super hot.

I probably won't read in Seattle for...a very long time (no offense to Seattle, I'm just retiring from most readings so I can focus on better book marketing, and I just can't afford to travel that much, physically or financially or timewise). I'm trying not to go insane stressing over Seattle and London, but at the same time, if I don't put every ounce of energy into these readings I can, what's the point?

I almost canceled the Seattle trip but then decided to go through with it, and I'm proud of that decision. I learned a lot from making that plan insanely early, which I'd never do again, but I'm looking forward to trying something I wouldn't have done. I'm also going to carve out some time in 2012 (my 2011 time is pretty much spoken for) to look into writing retreats, even if it's just 4 or 5 days. I need it, and owe it to myself. That is an infinitely better use of my time than the crazy reading schedules I've been keeping the last few years. I don't regret it, I just felt this total shift in my priorities, aided by my royalty statements. Doing something that doesn't work ad nauseam is, well, not wise. I'm not saying I'm so wise at 35, but I'm learning. Plus I just realized after ending In The Flesh that I like being at my computer more than on a stage. I like creating words. I have so many friends who live for being on stages, performing, acting, etc., and I admire them greatly, but I am not them, and I shouldn't have to be to be a writer. I enjoy gathering people together, hosting, organizing, but I also see the many costs that takes on me and I am grateful for a chance to have a quieter life.


Thursday, May 19, 2011

2 young adult novels whose covers sold me: Populazzi and Shut Out

I'm working on lots of posts for you, including 5 books I'm reading now and very excited about that (I can multitask like that) and trying to write things (trying being the operative word these days) but I wanted to share 2 YA book covers of books I'm very excited about. And if you wanted to be awesome, you could click over to Populazzi author Elise Allen's blog and leave a comment mentioning my name. Whoever gets the most namechecks wins a galley of her book! Book titles/covers link to Amazon, where you can pre-order.

I'm posting these specific covers because they each made me want to read the book before I even knew more about them, which I think is the job of a good book cover.

Author site: Elise Allen


Cara has never been one of those girls: confident, self-possessed, and always ready with the perfect thing to say. A girl at the very top of the popularity tower. One of the Populazzi.

Now, junior year could change everything. Cara’s moving to a new school, and her best friend urges her to seize the moment—with the help of the Ladder. Its rungs are relationships, and if Cara transforms into the perfect girlfriend for guys ever-higher on the tower, she’ll reach the ultimate goal: Supreme Populazzi.

The Ladder seems like a lighthearted social experiment, a straight climb up, but it quickly becomes gnarled and twisted. And when everything goes wrong, only the most audacious act Cara can think of has a chance of setting things even a little bit right.

Author site: Kody Keplinger

Shut Out

Most high school sports teams have rivalries with other schools. At Hamilton High, it's a civil war: the football team versus the soccer team. And for her part,Lissa is sick of it. Her quarterback boyfriend, Randy, is always ditching her to go pick a fight with the soccer team or to prank their locker room. And on three separate occasions Randy's car has been egged while he and Lissa were inside, making out. She is done competing with a bunch of sweaty boys for her own boyfriend's attention.

Lissa decides to end the rivalry once and for all: She and the other players' girlfriends go on a hookup strike. The boys won't get any action from them until the football and soccer teams make peace. What they don't count on is a new sort of rivalry: an impossible girls-against-boys showdown that hinges on who will cave to their libidos first. And Lissa never sees her own sexual tension with the leader of the boys, Cash Sterling, coming.

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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

LOST Love party, Sex Rules! with Maria Falzone, The Big Jewcy party at Brooklyn Winery

I'm trying to be more of a homebody these days, but NYC is a tough place to do that. Baby steps...tonight I skipped a party and even skipped a jigsaw puzzle date (yes, that is my kind of date) to chill and have some quiet time to get my head together. And hopefully write about masturbation, booty calls, Bridesmaids and a few other pending topics. And read my friend Robin Palmer's brand-new tween novel, the latest in the series, Yours Truly, Lucy B. Parker: Vote for Me!.

So on Thursday night I'm eager to meet the LOST magazine crew at Lolita Bar (6-9) for the LOST Love issue party (my super sad true essay is called "You," I wrote it as part of a promise I haven't been keeping lately but was doing decently with earlier in the year to always submit, never slack - read Lorne Michaels' advice in Tina Fey's book Bossypants for some good lessons in ignoring your perfectionism and just getting whatever the fuck you're working on OUT THERE - basically another way of saying the perfect is the enemy of the good).

After that I will head over to Happy Ending Lounge (302 Broome Street) for the (yay free!) Chat Lounge with Maria Falzone for Sex Rules!:

Join us on May 19th at 7:30 when The Chat Lounge hosts Sex Rules with Maria Falzone. Afer the overwhelming response we received to Maria’s shortened performance of Sex Rules at MOMENTUM we are thrilled to welcome Maria here in NYC where she’ll perform her entire show.

Maria Falzone is one of the most sought after speakers on safer sex at the college level. Each year colleges and universities invite her back to teach the essential rules to greater and safer sex. Unlike other lectures, Maria shares her personal story of shame and suffering about sex and how after contracting herpes from a friend she was forced to honestly look at her attitude about sex. Her ability to connect with students in a very real and personal way allows her to lay the foundation to explaining the RULES to greater and safer sex.

“We live in a society where we get conflicting messages about sex. Our parents and Society tell us to wait. In the world of advertising sex sells. So we end up thinking that we should just know how to have sex. Parents spend good money for us to go to college to get an education so that we can graduate and go out there and get a good job. But when it comes to sex, which most of us are going to have, (hopefully more than once) we have little to no information. Some of us end up emotionally or physically scarred.” Maria then goes on to explain the rules in a very funny and frank manner. Who do the rules apply to? All of us! If you want to wait till your married GREAT! You still need to learn how to have sex.

Her ability to connect with students in a very real and personal way allows her to lay the foundation to explaining the RULES to greater and safer sex.
If you’re gay, bisexual or transgender the rules are the same. There is another level of shame you have to work through. Society says that if your gay, bisexual or transgender that you are wrong, not sex, you. If you are gay bisexual or transgender work through the shame and live your life out loud. If you have an opinion against someone who is gay, bisexual or transgender keep it to your self. Because opinions are like a**holes! Everyone has one and no one wants to hear from them!

Maria reached headliner status in the top comedy clubs through out the US and Europe over 15 years ago and was invited to perform at the HBO Aspen Comedy Festival where she met Suzi Landolphi, the creator of Hot, Sexy and Safer. Suzi hired and trained Maria to perform her show. A year later Maria created her funny, frank and personal lecture: Sex Rules!

Maria has performed standup on ABC, A&E, Showtime, TBS.

The Chat Lounge is a free event, open to all adults 21 and over, meeting the 3rd Thursday of every month at Happy Ending, 302 Broome Street, from 7:30 – 10:00. The Chat Lounge features a different speaker to guide discussions covering body image, gender, pornography, identity, orientation, love and relationships, the science of sex and much more.

Lastly, on June 15th I'm celebrating with 99 other people being part of "The Big Jewcy,"'s annual list of "100 Jews everybody should know and love." Writeups will be posted in June but click here for party details. Awww...

Party is June 15, 6-10 pm at Brooklyn Winery, 213 N. 8th Street (where we held the 2010 Cupcakes Take the Cake anniversary party), Williamsburg, Brooklyn (right near the L to Bedford). Buy your tickets ($10) here.

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Monday, May 16, 2011


I’m at such a weird place right now. Part of me hates the fact that I’m going to Seattle and London to do readings because you know what that means? 6-7 weeks of all the stress I got rid of when I purged In The Flesh from my life. 6-7 weeks of trying to live my regular life plus be a crazy PR guru looking into every possible website related to those cities, every possible media nibble, and fighting like hell to get myself into them. Do you know how not fun that sounds? And yet I’d be adding to the foolishness of going to those cities, the costliness, by not trying to get press. It’s a vicious cycle and I’m honestly so so over it. I don’t miss that at all. I used to think it had a shred of creativity to it, and maybe it does, but lately, when I’m happy to write 750 words I eke out, when I miss submitting to anthologies there’s no good reason I should, I just don’t have that extra energy.

I don’t know if I’m tired or bored or over it, but I can safely say that if putting out books means all this hassle, I think my days of doing it might be numbered. That's not really true - I love editing anthologies, even when, like now, I'm behind on them, but all the other stuff that is not so fun and creative and is basically a giant drain on my time? I don't love that so much anymore. I dream about having long days in some quiet setting where I write. Just write. Just create. As much as I know it’s a pipe dream, as much I as I feel foolish or lavish or self-aggrandizing for thinking I might deserve that, I do dream about it, maybe with a side of children. But right now it all just feels like too much.

I don’t think in the past ten years or organizing events I ever really stopped and asked myself what the fuck I was doing, because once I did, I realized that’s not who I want to be, at least, not all that often. The pressure of running an event builds and builds and builds, and the closer it gets, the more people there are to harass, more places I should be notifying, more worry about the weather and competing events and who will come and, with Seattle, will I make it to the airport on time?

I literally am almost about to cry because I just can’t do it all, or even a tiny fraction of it “all” anymore. I can’t pretend to care if Major Reviewing Magazine is reviewing my book or not. I mean, I care, but I do not have time to look into that. I’m just at this breaking point where I’m surrounded by super successful people on one side, and all the things I want to do on the other, and I can’t seem to bridge that gap, to leap over to the side of the successful people, or to fill in the holes of what I want to do. I don’t know if it’s laziness or fear or overcommitment or what, but it’s something not pretty.

I feel like there is a moment of excitement I’ll get, a spark of an idea, and it’s a good idea, almost always, and then it’s like a firecracker, dazzling and sparking and being eye-catching and glowing and then it just fizzles and dies and, the way one does with firecrackers, I just sit there and watch it die. I don’t try to keep it alive—okay, my firecracker analogy is over because in my idea world, I could keep it alive. I could nurture it and feed it and maybe not make it the most beautiful display ever, but one that would get, at the very least, mild applause. One that would make me feel that sense of accomplishment I feel when I turn something in. Instead I have to do lists and forgetfulness and mistakes and ultimately what feels a hell of a lot like emptiness. It’s not even failure, because you have to try in order to fail, but just emptiness, like maybe writing that column forever ago for The Village Voice was the biggest thing I’ll ever do. I know it doesn’t have to be that way, but I know no one’s going to walk up and hand me another column like magic the way that happened. I have to go out there and fight for it, only I’m not quite sure what “it” is. Maybe “it” will be a YA novel under a pseudonym, which would be fitting since my protagonist gets famous under an alternative persona. I guess right now, when it feels like the most minute minutiae is my life, like I’m just treading water until I die, I know I need to make “it” be at least something I can be proud of.

It’s funny because my personal life is going really, really well. Nothing I can sum up pithily in a blog post but all the drama and confusion and jealousy and just messiness of the last year is not there. And I know that really says what my relationship is not rather than what it is, but I don’t know if I have words for that just yet. I’m happy. It’s kindof simple and yet I think part of why I am happy with it is that there isn’t all the wondering and what-does-this-really-mean? drama. I’m so fucking over being jealous of what someone else has, of knowing too much. The internet is a fucking treasure trove of TMI and that doesn’t mean in my low moments I don’t seek out the TMI; I do. I’m not perfect in that regard. But I no longer torture myself with it. Okay, not as much. I’m trying the best I can to be rather myopic about my life. What am I doing wrong, and how can I fix it? Not, what are all the ways I suck more than __? Because a lot of them are things I will never be able to be “better” at, at least, not in real life.

And I guess if there is any tension I feel about my relationship it’s that I think he sees things in me and believes in me in ways I don’t yet myself. That’s what I’m still working on, should be working on, whether I’m in a relationship or not. I was convinced after 2010 and Crazy January, which, the more I look back on it, was super insane on my part, that I needed solitude and retreat to work on those things. And maybe I do a little more than I have. Maybe one of these weekends when I’m not busy, which are few and far between, I should take myself away somewhere and shut off my phone and shut off everything and just be with myself and confront some of the realities about who I am, for better or for worse. I think I’m still a little fearful about trusting someone else in ways I’m not sure I’m ready for. But there’s also something very soothing about that, when I let it be soothing. I get stressed about work but I’m not stressed when I’m with my boyfriend, not in the ways I have been in the recent past.

There’s maybe a part of me that thinks that relationship might disappear all of a sudden, like a magic trick, once he gets to know who I really am. Not that I have so many deep dark secrets—most of my neuroses and issues are an open book, but it’s one thing to hear about them, another thing to be up close and personal with them. But ultimately whether or not anyone else cares as much as I do, I know I have to figure out a better system, a better way of moving forward. It’s one thing to know the old ways don’t work and another to actually figure out new ways. I’m kindof in between those two steps…me and umpteen to do lists. But I’m getting there.

Lots of good things in the air, but honestly, the thing that excites me the most is those sparks, when they happen. I’m grateful for them…I’d much rather have sparks of ideas than none at all. It just makes me sad, and angry at myself, when I don’t follow through with them and watch them die. Maybe I needed to write that down to get myself to actually carve out that time, and even if it’s not a weekend away, it could be an evening or an afternoon or just a mindset, a prioritizing not of other people’s needs but my own. Hopefully I will have something to show (meaning blog) for it.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Watch me on Gabcast with Jessica Delfino talking about hotel sex, the mile high club, people pleasing and more

Check out my interview with the very talented, funny and smart performer Jessica Delfino, who graciously had me on her show to talk about sex in hotels and on planes, where I learned about ice hotels, as well as people-pleasing and sex in the news and more. Some screen grabs are below.

Watch us here and follow @loveisp on Twitter to find out who else she's hosting and of course visit where you can see more of her work, including my favorite song of hers, "My Pussy is Magic." And you can catch her performing at In The Flesh. Speaking of which, well, it's not coming back, but I am working on a special fall NYC multimedia extravaganza. Stay tuned.

I'm wearing my new favorite piece of jewelry, the demi necklace by Objets d'Envy in Honeysuckle, Pantone's color of the year. Love their jewelry!

And look what she served me for breakfast! I'm totally tempted to be all rock star and have a rider that I want crepes at every interview.

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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Grilled cheese porn

Is there really another way to describe these photos from my lunch today at Melt Shop? Pictured, respectively, are fontina and goat cheese with roasted wild mushrooms and parsley pesto on whole wheat and provolone with salami and melt pickled peppers on light rye.

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New Banana Yoshimoto novel The Lake

I just found out about this book today and am bursting with excitement! I discovered Banana Yoshimoto during college at Cody's Books (RIP) and was drawn to her name, colorful covers and colorful characters. I haven't read her in years, though I should go back and reread her work. I'm thrilled that Thought Catalog has a new books column which some great recommendations (Jezebel blogger Anna North's America Pacifica was already on my to-read list) and that it told me about The Lake. Here's what reviewer Kevin Nguyen says about Yoshimoto's latest:

The book’s narrator and her love interest, Nakajima, (which may stretch the definitions of “love” for some) engage in long discussions about their feelings, explaining exactly how they feel. The result is a series of awkward exchanges that are sterile and devoid of emotion. Initially, I chalked it up to sloppy translating, but it becomes apparent that Yoshimoto’s simplicity — both in prose and narrative — speaks to a mastery of form. She is methodical in her pacing, delicate with her dialogue. The horrors from Nakajima’s past, which reveal themselves late in the book, feel inevitable but unpredictable.

Though it may come across as shallow at first, the depth of Yoshimoto’s minimalism reveals itself days after you finish reading. When I got to the last page of
The Lake, I felt largely unsatisfied, but a month later, I find myself returning to the book with some regularity. Even at fewer than 150 pages, The Lake will haunt you.

Also, hi beautiful book cover:

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Monday, May 09, 2011

This is straight out of one of my fucking political science classes

I know there are more egregious horrific parts of this Sydney Morning Herald article by Asher Moses, "Meet the workers dying to meet your iPad 2 demand," but this bit is the part that just floored me. I was a political science major and I daresay that no politician could be as schooled in the art of nonsense doublespeak as this statement (bolding mine):

Apple has sold more than 20 million iPads and its chief operating officer Tim Cook said in a recent earnings call that the company had sold every single iPad it had been able to produce.

Apple has yet to respond to the allegations in the SACOM report despite claims that the conditions in the factories breach the company's Supplier Code of Conduct.

Foxconn told the
Daily Mail that the conditions described were "not something we endorse or encourage" but the company "would not exclude that this might happen, given the diverse and large population of our workforce".

"But we are working to change it," the Foxconn spokesman said.

What the fuck does that actually say? Part of why I couldn't hack politics, or even law, which I sortof thought would be more rational than politics, is that of course anyone can basically say anything and try to make it sound like its opposite. That's part of why I write a lot of first-person pieces, because at least then I personally get to control my message. Politicians should study Foxconn for talking points. Ugh.

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Saturday, May 07, 2011

From the bondage erotica trenches

I have a giant pile of pending and overdue writing, fiction and nonfiction, as well as reading and editing for anthologies, awaiting me. Sometimes the to do lists get so big and scary that I feel instantly paralyzed. Writing even one word feels hopeless, and yet that's what I have to do, and that's what always makes me feel better. I've seen the results of not writing, both the money I didn't make but even worse, the lack it causes inside me, faced with the book I hold in my hands without my essay and photo, or that space on the bookstore shelves where I know my book could've been, if only. It's why I'm such a devotee of Justine Musk's blog Tribal Writer and why I just ordered Steven Pressfield's book Do The Work. Sometimes I need a kick in the ass or, ahem, slap in the face, to force me out of my worst thoughts about myself and into the writing. Money, sadly, is not a motivator. By now, failure looming should be, but it isn't.

I've realized that I like to set goals where I give something up. I'm hoping I can go this year without drinking a drop of alcohol, both because I think it's healthier for me, and simply didn't live up to that goal the last few years. I just decided not to do any more readings, save for Seattle and London, until I finish the YA novel draft I'm working on. That felt like a proactive, good decision, in that being surrounded by people who have, in fact, written a book, only serves to remind me of my lack, and it feels wasteful to me, of both time and money. But that is only half the equation. Giving up doing certain activities will only aid me if I take Pressfield's advice and spend 2 hours a day writing. Or more. I rarely do.

So one of the things I'm working on, that should be no big deal considering how many erotica stories I've already written in the last ten or so years, is for Best Bondage Erotica 2012. I will release the table of contents once it's finalized in a few months, but I can tell you that for the first time for a kinky anthology of mine that wasn't specifically about the topic, the majority of the stories I received, and that are currently in my manuscript, feature male bottoms/submissives/bondees. Which I think is a wonderful and welcome change, but means my story needs to fill the other side of the equation. I am working on two, actually, and one is the kind of story I often write. Playful, cute, fun, kinky. There's feathers and tickling and sadism. And that's great. I like writing those kinds of stories but they feel "light" to me in a sense that the other one I'm working on doesn't. I won't say frivolous, because I think the point of erotica is to arouse and entertain and I think my story will do that.

But the other type of story, the one I am trying to write more of because it makes me feel more "like a writer" is the deeper, darker kind, the ones like "The End" or "Espionage" or the upcoming "Punching Bag," which will be published in Tristan Taormino's anthology Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica. They're intense, dark, heavy, which is perhaps ironic, or perhaps fitting, since the story I'm working on is called "The Weight." It taps into what I love about writing erotica, which is figuring out certain aspects of my kinks in fictional form and articulating them. But no matter how open-minded I try to be, and considering I have a tattoo with the word "open" I'd say I strive for that as much as I can, it's still daunting and unnerving to go there. The lighter, breezier, more playful stories, like "Monica and Me" or "Doing the Dishes," the ones that will get laughs at a reading, are easier on some level because they don't push my buttons. They don't make me uneasy. They don't ever make me wonder, in the deepest recesses of my mind, "What is wrong with me? Why would I fantasize about that?" And one is not better than the other, but I will admit that I'm prejudiced, when it comes to my own writing, toward the darker kind of story. It's where I'm trying to go in my nonfiction too; does this make me look flawed, imperfect, foolish...because I am, and I'm human? Then yes, put it in.

I know that, and I know that's what I gravitate to in pieces I read, the people who, at least, on the page, are unafraid to go there, even if they too have to fake it til they make it. So that's where I'm at this weekend on that one teeny tiny piece. Maybe I'll scrap it, save it for another time, go back to the long, lighter, funnier piece for the Major Media Company that wants my fiction rather than my mini memoir. But I hope I will push myself and try to forget about all the what-ifs, the who-might-read-this-and-think-x, the what-does-this-say-about-me, and instead just bottom to the story and give it all of myself, as openly and guilelessly and freely as I'm capable of.

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Surrender is a pick for Fast and Easy Book Club!

Check out the Fast and Easy Book Club, with selections by the wonderful Alison Tyler, over at Violet Blue's Tiny Nibbles blog, where there's also an excerpt from Teresa Noelle Roberts' excellent story "Daddy's Girl," which I think I can say is my favorite Daddy/girl story I've ever read, and maybe the only one I've ever published. To me what makes it so hot is that it delineates the role-play and explains it, without sacrificing an ounce of the heat of the story. (For more information about Surrender, click here.)

Here are their first picks:

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Friday, May 06, 2011

Orgasmic wins 2011 IPPY Gold Award for Erotica

Yay! I just got the news that my anthology Orgasmic: Erotica for Women will be awarded the GOLD IPPY (Independent Publisher) Award. This makes my sixth and I love that these awards highlight independent publishing. I would also personally love to see this book do so well I get to do another book all about orgasms because it's one of my most varied books and I love that about it! So congratulations to all the authors in Orgasmic and if you haven't checked out this book yet, more info is below. I also liked the challenge of writing in a way that almost fetishizes whatever it is that gives each character an orgasm, not in a way that negates that fetish, obviously, but in a way that brings it to life. None of the stories read as cliches of what gets someone off.

What gets you off? How do you like to come? Let Orgasmic count the ways…with 25 stories centered around female orgasm, there’s something here for every reader. The women in Orgasmic climax from Tantric sex, role-playing, piercing, G-spot play, sex toys, horseback riding, BDSM, a belt and even chemistry–the scientific kind. They delight in food, God and handymen. They create their own objects of pleasure; they spy, tease, obey, command, argue, submit. Some are shy about their orgasms and some are bold as can be. They come, and come and come again, and they do it in some of the hottest, most creative ways you can think of. Featuring red-hot erotica by some of today’s hottest writers, these stories will make you want to stop everything and have an orgasm immediately…once you’ve turned the last succulent page.

Purchase Orgasmic from:

Kindle edition

Barnes & Noble (


IndieBound (search for your local independent bookstore!)

Cleis Press

Introduction: Let Me Count the Ways…

The Waiting Game Elizabeth Coldwell
What’s in a Name? Jacqueline Applebee
Chemistry Velvet Moore
The Chair Lolita Lopez
Fixing the Pipes Susie Hara
Share Dusty Horn
Hurdles Rowan Elizabeth
Seeing Stars Louisa Harte
Old Faithful Sylvia Lowry
Paying It Forward Kendra Wayne
The Big O Donna George Storey
Moon Tantra Teresa Noelle Roberts
Feet on the Dashboard Rachel Green
Frosting First Lana Fox
All She Wanted Andrea Dale
Making Shapes Lily Harlem
Rapture Angela Caperton
Belted Rachel Kramer Bussel
Rise and Shine Heidi Champa
Taking the Reins Vanessa Vaughn
First Date with the Dom Noelle Keely
Animal Inside Neve Black
The London O Justine Elyot
Fight Charlotte Stein
Switch Jade Melisande


Let Me Count The Ways…

Orgasm: like sex, it’s one word that means many different things to many different people. For many women, it’s the center of their sexual life, a daily occurrence; something to look forward to, experiment with. For
some it means a gushing rush of pleasure, for others it’s a little wave they delight in cresting.

Every woman who orgasms may describe it differently.

Yet there are many women, myself included, who find orgasm not so easy to achieve much of the time (yes, it’s trueæI love sex, and get turned on, but coming is a bit more complex for me). In “Hurdles,” Rowan Elizabeth writes of such a character: “I can’t win this. And it’s my hang-up, too. I feel like there’s something I’m just not doing right. Maybe if I tighten my legs a little more or squeeze my eyes shut harder, then we’d get there together.”

Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines orgasm as “intense or paroxysmal excitement; especially: an explosive discharge of neuromuscular tensions at the height of sexual arousal that is usually accompanied by the ejaculation of semen in the male and by vaginal contractions in the female.” It comes from the Latin and Greek (orgasmus/orgasmos), from organ “to grow ripe, be lustful.” I like that description, though what it leaves out is that for women, orgasm can stretch beyond the boundaries of ejaculation, can continue on and on, can be drawn out for as long as the woman (or her partner) wants to indulge in the experience.

In Lolita Lopez’s perfectly kinky story, “The Chair,” sex toys and submission go hand in hand with orgasm for the protagonist. “Lily’s orgasms changed from separate events to one long and unending oscillation of bliss.” Her “punishment” at the hands of Cal is one she’s very, very happy to absorb.

There are countless articles and books telling you how to have a bigger, better orgasm. I don’t want to add to the clamor of the voices saying, You must orgasm now. Instead, I want Orgasmic to be a fictional showcase of some of the reasons, methods and delights women bring to their orgasms. I want these red-hot stories to help get you warmed up, primed, aroused. I want them to make you squirm with desire, identification, curiosity. I want you to read these stories aloud to a lover…or someone you wish were your lover.

I did my best to capture an array of big (and little) Os, moments where the world feels like it’s exploding in your body, orgasms that rock more than just your world. These stories capture the ferocity, intensity and power of women’s orgasms, however they’re achieved. I couldn’t include every way women come in this book, or it would be much longer than it is now, but I wanted to include a varied look at what gets women off, which means it’s not always a man or another woman, or even a machine that does the trick. Vanessa Vaughn taps into a classic route with “Taking the Reins:”

As I straddle the seat and slowly lower myself down, I feel a familiar tingle of excitement deep inside. I can sense the monstrous size of the body between my thighs, the large chest expanding and contracting broadly with each breath. The smell of fresh, conditioned leather smothers my sensesæwell, that, and also the slight musky tinge of sweat. It is a raw smell mixed with rich, dark dirt.

Speaking of orgasm how-tos, in “The Big O” by Donna George Storey, she both skewers the omnipresent women’s magazine sex advice and adds a saucy twist as her protagonist puts into practice “The Sexercise Prescription: A Stronger Secret You in Six Weeks.”

The women in Orgasmic climax from tantric sex, role-playing, piercing, G-spot play, sex toys and even chemistry--the scientific kind. They delight in food, God and handymen. They create their own objects of pleasure; they spy, tease, obey, command, argue, submit. Some are shy about their orgasms and some are bold as can be.

They come, and come and come again, and they do it in some of the hottest, most creative ways you can think of. Visit me at if you just can’t get enough…orgasms, that is.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City

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Thursday, May 05, 2011

Stamps and pizza

I've been waiting for this version of the forever stamp (forever stamps are the kind that you buy at today's prices and, as the marketing goes, you can use them forever, even after prices have gone up), which in my opinion is so much better than the old ones, to come out and I finally got some today. I'd asked for "Celebrate" stamps a few weeks ago and got some other kind of celebrate stamp which was okay, but these I really like.

I tried to get in to a Something Borrowed screening last night but it was oversold. My friend and I got pizza instead at this place on 4th Avenue, Pie, where you can order by the inch and therefore sample a bunch of different very thin-crust, yummy pizzas. And they have gluten-free pizza and gluten-free beer! (I have a lot of friends and family members who can't eat gluten so I notice stuff like that.)

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Very cool New York City Movie Map covering 91 movies

Can you name all 91 movies as depicted on this map by my friend and trivia teammate Bernie Hou? If you're the first person to do so, you can win a poster! See his site (and catch up on his webcomic Alien Loves Predator) for more information and to see a bigger version.

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Read this book: Normal Gets You Nowhere by Kelly Cutrone

I just started reading People's Revolution head Kelly Cutrone's second book, Normal Gets You Nowhere, and I love it! I recommend her first book, If You Have to Cry, Go Outside, too. For a book with that title, it was surprisingly spiritual, and I like that about Kelly, at least, what I know of her from reading (I don't really watch TV) - she is tough but also tender and spiritual. And a single mom! This one has a sex chapter that's pretty spot-on and she talks about why we need straightforward sex ed, after a stranger asks her for advice on giving a hand job, not because she's dying to know about theart of the hand job, but because she wants to wait to have sex til she's married but doesn't want her boyfriend to leave her. Cutrone is not afraid to curse or piss people off and breaks down both having a personal brand and staying true to yourself.

One of the things I get stuck on when thinking about my "brand" is, well, where do I fit in? If my "brand" is some version of "Lusty Lady," how do I write honestly, in fiction and nonfiction, about all the complicated/sad/dark/not-very-sexy aspects of my life? How do I still promote books as well as I possibly can, so they, um, sell, when I really would rather be writing than ordering postcards/doing events/setting up websites/etc.? So I read her looking for some guidance on how she became what I someday hope to be: a successful businesswoman. I've made many inroads as a writer, but the big things I want to do, like write a book, sell a book to a foreign country, and pay off my debts, I've yet to do, and I know I will, to some degree, not feel like I've lived up to my potential until I do, or at least, until I know I really fucking tried my best. Thus far, I've always run away from trying my best, often in the most spectacular, cataclysmic way possible. That's the m.o. I know. 2011 is, for me, about trying to live differently, to live better, to push myself without berating myself.

Check it out! More on it later, and I plan to quote her in an upcoming SexIs column on sex ed. Find Kelly at and @peoplesrev on Twitter.

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My stripper shoe story "Good Luck Charm"

You can read the whole story plus other sex and shoes stories in, yes, the anthology called Sex & Shoes which is for sale for only $2.49! I'm reading it live Friday night at Ravenous Nights at Happy Ending Lounge, 302 Broome Street, NYC - see you there! I'll also be posting some more of my stories from my own anthologies soon, may possibly sell some as one-offs on Amazon but I'm happy to share a few here too.

May 6, 8-10 pm
In the old days, we would’ve barked, “Girls! Girls! Girls!”

That’s because May’s Ravenous Nights celebrates the daring dazzle of burlesque and stripping, and it’s shaping up to be a great night. Joining host Lori Perkins: authors Logan Belle, Rachel Kramer Bussel, and Aimee DeLong, all of whom will share risque tales with us.

And we’re fortunate that head mistress of NY School of Burlesque, Jo “Boobs” Weldon, will join us. She authored The Burlesque Handbook and has teasingly offered to give us a lesson or two!

So help us extol the thrill of stripping, give away door prizes galore — and maybe expose a secret or two in the bump and grind!

Event details:
Free. 8 to 10 pm. Dress: street casual.

Happy Ending Lounge
302 Broome Street (between Eldridge and Forsyth)
New York, NY

Sex and Shoes anthology

Good Luck Charm
by Rachel Kramer Bussel

As soon as I saw the shoes in the sex shop, I knew I had to get them for Daisy. They were the most outrageous, over-the-top, attention-getting pair I’d ever seen (and trust me, I’ve seen a lot of stripper shoes in my day). These had the requisite five-inch heels, ones that would make her already long, slim, gorgeous legs seem even hotter, but they had the added-bonus of being casino-themed, with white-painted black dice twisting against each other to form the heel. Below her sole, in the catch-all see-through area, were embedded poker chips and more dice. They were the kind of shoes that could turn anyone into a gambler, begging the numbers to turn up just right, just like they’d beg Daisy to rub her almost-naked body all over them as they sat with their hard cocks straining toward her. Or rather, toward Dolores, her stripper alter-ego.

See, Daisy’s really a dyke, and we met when I was one of her customers. She’s been with guys, as have I, and we can both get off on a good cock-pounding, but when it comes to everything sensual and emotional, we’re strictly girls’ girls. We complement each other in many ways, though, primarily in that she’s the ultimate exhibitionist, while I’m a voyeur through and through. I work a straight nine-to-five job (it’s nothing worth sharing the details of) and she works five nights a week at one of the many strip clubs Austin has to offer. It’s perfect because I have time to go watch her do her thing, which makes me horny as all get-out. I guess you could say I’m the opposite of the jealous type. I love that my girlfriend’s a stripper, love that she can use her beautiful body to earn a living and to liven things up in the bedroom.

So back to the shoes. I was visiting my friend Kim in St. Paul, who’d insisted we head to this adult store before hitting the local bar. I would’ve brought Daisy with me, but she had to work, and I was missing her terribly. Then I saw the shoes and knew they’d be the perfect thing to bring back to her; they may as well have had her name on them. I picked one up and felt a charge race through my body, one that let me know Daisy and I, at the very least, would have fun with these shoes.

But I wanted more than just fun. Or rather, part of my fun is in helping her do her job. I love watching her tease the men who come to her to get hard, horny, and frustrated. I love knowing that I’m the one who will get to feel these shoes pressing against my back while I fuck her, but they will be mesmerized by the sight of them that they’ll slip dollars into her G-string.

I bought the shoes, and the first thing I did when was alone was christen one of them with my pussy, rubbing it against me as I moaned Daisy’s name. Then I licked my juices off and called her. “I got you something on my trip, and you’re gonna like it.”

“What’d you get me in St. Paul?” she scoffed. It’s not like Austin is New York or L.A., but that doesn’t stop Daisy from being somewhat of a city snob.

“Just something that’ll make you even sexier than you are. Something that’ll make me want to touch myself.” I almost added, “Something you can wear to work,” but since she pretty much only wears some glitter, a G-string, shoes and maybe a barrette or two, that would be giving it away.

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Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Samoa Girl Scout cookies!!

SOOOOOO good. Huge thanks to Rudy from Man Bakes Cake. Read my review at Cupcakes Take the Cake!


"Penis Size Doesn't Matter--or Does It?"

I think this is the first time I've explicitly revisited a topic I'd covered for The Village Voice in this column, so I tried to make it really different from that one from 2006, which touched more on race and penis size stereotypes. The result is "Penis Size Doesn't Matter--or Does It?" I didn’t even have room (ha!) for the penis size map in this column (actually kindof forgot and it’s a long column anyway). I do talk about Steve-O’s tattoo, small celebrity penises, porn as a culprit, sexual insecurity, penis enlargement, benefits of the small penis, small penis porn and more. Thanks for reading!

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I'm reading about stripper shoes Friday at Happy Ending Lounge

I'm reading Friday from an erotica story I wrote about stripper shoes, inspired by a gorgeous pair I saw once in St. Paul, for free at Happy Ending Lounge, former home of In The Flesh Reading Series, at Ravenous Nights. Join us free from 8-10 pm! Very excited to read again with the gorgeous and talented Jo Weldon, and hear all the stripping and burlesque stories. I'm not doing too many readings these days so this is my only one this month.

May 6, 8-10 pm
In the old days, we would’ve barked, “Girls! Girls! Girls!”

That’s because May’s Ravenous Nights celebrates the daring dazzle of burlesque and stripping, and it’s shaping up to be a great night. Joining host Lori Perkins: authors Logan Belle, Rachel Kramer Bussel, and Aimee DeLong, all of whom will share risque tales with us.

And we’re fortunate that head mistress of NY School of Burlesque, Jo “Boobs” Weldon, will join us. She authored The Burlesque Handbook and has teasingly offered to give us a lesson or two!

So help us extol the thrill of stripping, give away door prizes galore — and maybe expose a secret or two in the bump and grind!

Event details:
Free. 8 to 10 pm. Dress: street casual.

Happy Ending Lounge
302 Broome Street (between Eldridge and Forsyth)
New York, NY

And happy of my favorite nights from five years of In The Flesh, and one of the few we didn't get captured on film, so truly a you had to be there moment...come see Jo on Friday. She'll be worth it, I promise! I might be working on a fall NYC event, will update you if that goes through. For now, deadline and Seattle and London event promotion madness own me.

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