Email: rachelkramerbussel at


Lusty Lady

Watch my first and favorite book trailer for Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica. Get Spanked in print and ebook

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy 2010!

From me, and someecards

Lots of people are doing giant decade wrapups and honestly, I'd rather move on. 2000 was the first year I was gainfully employed (I started temping immediately upon leaving law school in 1999) and I moved into my current apartment in March of 2000, I declared bankruptcy, started the job I have now in March 2004, wrote for The Village Voice, started Cupcakes Take the Cake, went on The Martha Stewart Show (that is probably the one thing I did in the aughts that I still can't quite believe happened), started writing and editing erotica, blah fucking blah. I just can't get into caring about that when I have stuff that's pressing right now, like, you know, adding 7 events to Facebook. I'd rather focus on what's next, though I may do a 2009 recap of some of the work I'm most proud of if I have time in this killer weekend. It certainly wasn't all bad, there are major highlights, but for the most part, I'm so happy to leave crazy 2009 way, way behind.

Click here to read my "Pervy Postcards" review of their hilarious postcard book Say something dirty to 45 friends, lovers, and mailmen in Penthouse (I recommend both the site and the postcard books - great gifts and great to send, to those who'll get the jokes).

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Happy New Year!

I have many, many posts I would like to make and thought I could squeeze in on the last day of the year, ones that have been percolating in my mind, like 10 amazing books I read this year and 10 sites I’m grateful for and 10 things I'm happiest I did this year and much more, but it’s an insanely hectic time so they are going to have to wait. I’m on self-imposed lockdown this weekend, save for a massage and a few errands, as I write and edit and journal and think and prepare for personal organizers to come remake my home and lots and lots of other work. For once, though, it doesn't feel like a giant burden, it feels like exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. This has been a big, crazy, wonderful, awful, busy, beautiful year, I can't even think how I could summarize it except to say I'm looking forward to the next year and to learning from both my mistakes and others around me.

So I will have more Shag details, In The Flesh postcards, Best Sex Writing 2010 event dates (right now, 2/21 in Eugene, Oregon, 2/22 in Portland, and we are working on Seattle that week) and much much more.

But I just wanted to say, to whoever is still reading this intentionally neglected blog, THANK YOU. It means a lot to me and I am doing my best to be a better person in 2010, one I, first and foremost, can be proud of, and hopefully other people can too. I’ve had so much amazing support, from friends and strangers alike, recently, and I am beyond grateful for it. I wish you all a wonderful 2010 and Happy New Year!

Here are two more of Anya Garrett's amazing photos from my Shag photo shoot. Shag is definitely worth checking out and I promise you the January 28th boob casting will be a one-of-a-kind very fun event.


Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Boob casting, January 28th, Erotica workshops Febraury and March at SHAG

We will have details and signup information about my January 28th boob casting (yes, my boobs are being cast, live, in public, and we will auction off the casting, plus there's a Peep Show party after and YES, there will be cupcakes, 7:30-10) and my erotic writing workshops (afternoons of February 6, 13, 27 and March 6) at Shag very, very soon, like next week. I promise. I encourage you to shop at Shag in the meantime, or just go and browse all the art, jewelry, cards, bondage coasters, hankies (as in hanky code), lingerie, sex toys and much more. The dressing room is divine!

For now, some more of my photos by Anya Garrett - I'm still sorting through all the ones she shot and deciding on the right sexy one of me featuring Njoy's Eleven to feature in the postcard. Yes, there will be postcards and I'd be happy to mail you one once we get it all sorted out! I'm up to my eyeballs in writing and planning and personal organizing/decluttering and, you, know, life, but this is one of the things I'm most excited about in 2010. I haven't taught erotica in New York in a long time and have never done an ongoing workshop, so I'm truly looking forward to that as well as getting my breasts slathered in Vaseline and covered in plaster (or whatever the material is used to make casts).

Rachel Kramer Bussel by Anya Garrett

Rachel Kramer Bussel by Anya Garrett

Rachel Kramer Bussel by Anya Garrett

Rachel Kramer Bussel by Anya Garrett

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Today's the last day to WIN the Hello, Cupcake! wall calendar or cookbook

Enter our Hello, Cupcake! contest now (instructions in the post).

And obviously you should be bookmarking and reading Cupcakes Take the Cake every day - lots more contests on the way! Some photos below from the 2010 Hello, Cupcake! wall calendar I bought for myself.

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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Watch me speak at CUNY panel on Peep Shows and Public Spaces

I was tasked with speaking about female sexuality and public space a few weeks ago at CUNY's panel on Peep Shows and Public Spaces. There are 3 videos featuring me and the entire event, I believe, posted at I learned a lot, am extremely thankful to the wonderful Dagmar Herzog for moderating and to Amy Herzog and everyone at CUNY - and Eileen Myles for asking a great question! I'll post the 10 female-run sites I spoke about (I also talked about In The Flesh) soon.

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Sunday, December 27, 2009

Podcast audio version of "Calendar Girl" from Peep Show: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists

Nobilis Erotica has created an audio version of Angela Caperton's story "Calendar Girl" (the one I "reenacted" with the roses over my boobs in the book trailer) from Peep Show: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists (click to watch trailer and read more about the book).

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Thursday, December 24, 2009

Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica book trailer on hiatus; watch these instead

So one major thing I've learned is that when making a book trailer (or any video), make sure you have the rights to the music! The trailer for Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica had a great run, and we will get it back up online soon, but it was pulled because we'd used music that wasn't authorized. Oh and the Spanked blog on Wordpress is not more but the one for Bottoms Up: Spanking Good Stories is still around. Will be working on getting as much detail about my books posted in 2010 as I can.

The Spanked trailer will be back up for your viewing pleasure soon, I promise.

I still have two very hot trailers up and plan to make more in 2010!

Book trailer for Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories (click to read table of contents and introduction.

Book trailer for Peep Show: Erotica Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists (click to read table of contents and introduction

The music (authorized) is by one of my favorite bands, Ida, and the song is "599" from their album Heart Like a River

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Shag photo shoot sneak peek

A sneak peek at one of the photos Anya Garrett took of me on Sunday at Shag in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Partly for fun, partly because I wanted new photos, and partly to promote the January 28th casting of my boobs I'm doing at Shag. Yes, there are some topless photos but the hottest ones imo are more suggestive than anything. Also, I LOVE working with Anya nd highly recommend her. Another inspiration for the shoot was that every time I visit her site or Flickr page I'm agog with all the gorgeousness going on.

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Monday, December 21, 2009

Sneak peek: Please, Sir: Erotic Stories of Female Submission

Just a sneak peek at what I think is my hottest book cover the introduction. If you really like it, you can pre-order Please, Sir: Erotic Stories of Female Submission from Or wait until May. And yes, OF COURSE there will be postcards! How could I resist?

If you are interested in BDSM erotica with a female submission twist, please see also He's on Top: Erotic Stories of Male Dominance and Female Submission and Yes, Sir: Erotic Stories of Male Dominance (click here to read the table of contents and introduction).

Introduction: Risk and Reward

Anticipation Shanna Germain
Because He Can Elizabeth Coldwell
Avery Says Sommer Marsden
The Sub Fairy Mercy Loomis
I Breathe Your Name Tess Danesi
Long Time Gone Heidi Champa
Power over Power Emerald
Knot Here! Yolanda West
Veronica’s Body Isabelle Gray
The Negotiation Remittance Girl
A Night at the Opera Evan Mora
Mommy’s Boy Doug Harrison
No Good Deed Alison Tyler
Masochist on Vacation Aimee Pearl
Lil’ Pet Brat, aka Lily Guangli Kissa Starling
Pleasure Keeper Charlotte Stein
Welcome to the World Ariel Graham
Stroke Lisabet Sarai
Sunday in the Study Justine Elyot
Walking the Sub Salome Wilde
Just What She Needs Donna George Storey
Your Hand on My Neck Rachel Kramer Bussel

Introduction: Risk and Reward

If you ask me, submission is an art form. It requires dedication, focus, commitment and desireæand there’s no single way of doing it. It’s about unlocking something within yourself so you can reach beyond your normal limits, exposing your body and soul in order to go somewhere you cannot get to alone.

I had a lover who always told me that the key to life is “High risk, high reward.” The same is true about kink, and this is evident throughout the stories in Please, Sir, which explores female submission and male dominance from the sub’s point of view. When these characters take risks, they are rewarded…even when those rewards look like “punishment.” They are rewarded in all kinds of ways, from being bound to being praised to being choked, spanked or put on display. They are rewarded by being tested again and again.

The women in these stories approach submission in different ways. Some, like Tess Danesi’s protagonist in “I Breathe Your Name,” live on the edge of fear and get off on pushing the limits with their masters, though they don’t always know where their boldness will take them. Some of these women are drawn to the charisma of a born leader, one like Krav Maga instructor, Dominic, in Emerald’s “Power over Power.” Jackie, his student, has been watching and fantasizing about him, but when he finally acknowledges her sexually, she is caught off guard:

I trembled, wanting to touch him but feeling frozen. Still looking at the ground, I nodded.

With characteristic efficiency of motion, he reached with one finger and pulled my chin up. A shudder ran through me as I felt his poweræthe power I saw in every move he made, that he exuded at the front of the class, that he spoke when he told us what we were capable of, that coiled and expelled from him whenever he slammed any part of his body into the punching bag. This was the power that lived unquestioned within him, so seamlessly that it was as though it wouldn’t exist without him.

Others don’t expect to be getting kinky at all, like the “Mommy’s Boy” in Doug Harrison’s story, where tables get turned in a most delightful way. In Lisabet Sarai’s “Stroke,” a woman risks getting kinky at work in order to realize her dream:

I just stood there, petrified by mingled fear and excitement. If anyone discovered us, I'd lose my job. I'd never work as a nurse again. Five years of education down the drain. But this might be my only chance. The chance to make my fantasies real.

The lesson there, and in all of these stories, is that there is risk involved in submission. I don’t mean the physical risks, but the emotional ones, the ones that require a leap of faith, a knowledge that what you are doing may unnerve you, confuse you and scare you, even while it makes you wet and eager and ready for more. As we see in Shanna Germain’s opening story, “Anticipation,” merely thinking about what he might do next, playing with power in one’s own mind, can yield profound results:

I can no longer breathe, much less make a noise of want. This is what he does to me, every day: whips me into a frenzy of words that makes me miss him more than I have the power to say, that makes me so wet that if he were here, I’d fuck him right now, bent over this table, with all these people watching, groaning his name with every thrust. I’d be begging him to fuck me, beat me, make me come with the kind of orgasm that makes everything else disappear.

I have to go, back to the work that calls, the work that keeps me here in this foreign and fuckless place, but I don’t want to.

Some, like Kissa Starling’s heroine, are brats, and enjoy pushing their masters to the limit. Some don’t deliberately provoke anyone, but wind up bent over anyway. However they come to their submission (and come from their submission), their journey is one charged with the spark of passing power between two people, of welcoming the risk of submission and all it entails.

I like the women in this collection, and not just because they remind me of me when I’m reveling in being slapped across the face, forced to the ground, utterly at my chosen lover’s (or master’s, or partner’s or top’s) mercy. It’s not just the actions here that are familiar, but the reasoning, the way they crave and cringe in the face of the power they are claiming, and the power they are giving up. They are smart enough to know that kink is not about simply embracing one’s fears, but grappling with them, battling with them, taking risks and seeing if, in fact, they yield very sexy rewards.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City

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Saturday, December 19, 2009

Sex and Food Night is January 21st at In The Flesh Reading Series

I'll recap December's AMAZING In The Flesh, which featured beautiful music, sexy belly dancing, HOT performance art and stories about demons and sex and religion. For once we weren't taping, so you'll just have to makes sure you don't miss all the sexiness in store in 2010:

January 21 - Sex and Food Night

February 18 - Love and Lust Night

March 18 - BDSM Night

April 15 - Nerd Sex Night

May 20 - True Sex Confessions

June - GLBT Erotica Night

I may be booking one more person and am working on catering but I promise this will be worth coming out of the cold for!

January 21 at 8:00 PM (doors at 7)
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey or F/V to 2nd Avenue,
Between Forsyth & Eldridge. Look for the hot pink awning that says "XIE HE Health Club."
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676

Food is sexy, and sex is delicious, so In The Flesh Reading Series is kicking of 2010 with some saucy, sexy, steamy readings for the first Sex and Food Night. Featuring Cathy Erway (Author, The Art of Eating In, blogger, Not Eating Out in New York), Emily Farris (Author, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven), hot dog lover Jenine Sanford Holmes (New York Press), comedian Rachael Parenta (contributor, What Was I Thinking?! 58 Bad Boyfriend Stories), Yolanda Shoshana (The Luscious Life with Shoshi) and Heather Whaley (Author, Eat Your Feelings: Recipes for Self-Loathing). Hosted by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Peep Show, Bottoms Up, Sex and Candy). Free cupcakes by Baked by Melissa as well as finger food snacks will be served.

In the Flesh is a monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named Happy Ending Lounge, and features the country's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. The series was named Best Reading Series by New York Press in 2009. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Since its debut in October 2005, In the Flesh has featured such authors as Laura Antoniou, Mo Beasley, Susie Bright, Lily Burana, Jessica Cutler, Mike Daisey, Stephen Elliott, Valerie Frankel, Polly Frost, Gael Greene, Andy Horwitz, Debra Hyde, Maxim Jakubowski, Emily Scarlet Kramer of CAKE, Josh Kilmer-Purcell, Edith Layton, Logan Levkoff, Suzanne Portnoy, Sofia Quintero, M.J. Rose, Lauren Sanders, Danyel Smith, Grant Stoddard, Cecilia Tan, Carol Taylor, Dana Vachon, Veronica Vera, Susan Wright, Zane and many others. The series has gotten press attention from the New York Times’s UrbanEye, Escape (Hong Kong), Flavorpill, The L Magazine, New York Magazine (Critics' Pick), New York Observer, Philadelphia City Paper, Time Out New York, Flavorwire, Gothamist, NBC New York,, and Wonkette, and has been praised by Dr. Ruth.

Rachel Kramer Bussel is an author, editor, blogger and reading series host. She is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations and a former sex columnist for The Village Voice. She’s edited numerous anthologies, two of which (Up All Night and Glamour Girls) have been Lambda Literary Award finalists, most recently The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories, Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories, Best Sex Writing 2009, Tasting Him, Tasting Her, and Spanked. Her writing been published in publications such as Clean Sheets, Cosmopolitan, The Daily Beast, Fresh Yarn, Huffington Post, Mediabistro, Newsday, New York Post, San Francisco Chronicle, Tango, The Village Voice, and Time Out New York, and in over 100 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006. She has hosted In The Flesh since October 2005.

photo by Hilary McHone

Cathy Erway is a freelance food writer, blogger, and host of the cooking and dating podcast radio show, Cheap Date. Her blog, Not Eating Out in New York, is based on her two-year mission to forgo restaurant food, one that forged, among other things, alternatives to the nice restaurant date. She writes about sustainable food and farming for and The Huffington Post, and her first book, The Art of Eating In: How I Learned to Stop Spending and Love the Stove will be published next month by Gotham/Penguin.

When Emily Farris was an impressionable youth her mom told her that people who talk the most about sex are the ones having the least of it. In Emily's case this has, unfortunately, turned out to be true. Fortunately, it helped her land a job at, where she edited the site's pop culture blog, Scanner, for two years. Emily is now the lifestyle editor at the KC Free Press in Kansas City and when she's not glued to the computer she takes her sexual frustration out in the kitchen. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. (

Jenine Sanford Holmes is a New York-based writer who divides her time between advertising and creative non-fiction. She worked for six years as a senior writer at SpikeDDB, a creative boutique agency headed by Spike Lee. Her essays have appeared in The Detroit News, The Westsider, and New York Press, among other papers. Now that she has completed her memoir she can focus on whipping her Italian language skills back in shape.

Rachael Parenta lives in Brooklyn. She performs stand-up comedy all over NYC and throughout the US. She has written several plays (both full and short) that have been produced on both coasts. She has contributed writings to and the 2009 book What Was I Thinking?! Currently she’s working on comedy variety show “Please, Someone Kill Me!”—Emotionally inappropriate comedy.

Yolanda Shoshana ("Shoshi") is a personality, sensualist, courtesan coach, speaker, and blogger known as the Luscious Lifestyle Diva." She followed her entrepreneur spirit by starting a lifestyle company for women which swirls sensuality, sexuality, and spirituality. Her company includes the School of the Courtisane Moderne, a modern day courtesan school which teaches women the art of seduction from the boardroom to the bedroom. She also creates seductive body products with notes from aphrodisiacs to help women bring out their inner courtesan. Shoshi has also produced and hosted her own live talk show for women in Manhattan on Channel 56 for the past 4 1/2 years titled The Luscious Life with Shoshi. Recently, she started The Luscious Life, a bi-weekly radio show with delicious guests, experts, and gurus.

Heather Whaley is an actress and writer. The author of Eat Your Feelings: Recipes for Self-Loathing (Hudson Street Press, 2009), she has appeared in the films The Jimmy Show and New York City Serenade. Her plays Who's The Boss, Now? and I Will Not Marry Anthony Porter! have been performed off-Broadway and in regional theaters across the country and both contain punctuation in the titles. She has written extensively for television. Her play, Social Note, was the first play to appear in the storied Oak Room of the Algonuin Hotel. She lives in New York City with her husband and two children.

You will hear from the following books:

Best Women's Erotica 2010
(Rachel Kramer Bussel's oral sex restaurant story "Secret Service")

The Art of Eating In

What Was I Thinking?!: 58 Bad Boyfriend Stories
(Rachael Parenta's essay)

Eat Your Feelings: Recipes for Self-Loathing

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Thursday, December 17, 2009

Don't miss 200 free cupcakes, candy, chips, belly dancing and sexy stories FREE at In The Flesh tonight!

December 17th at 8:00 PM (doors at 7)
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey or F/V to 2nd Avenue,
Between Forsyth & Eldridge. Look for the hot pink awning that says "XIE HE Health Club."
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676

Sex and religion are the theme of the final In The Flesh of 2009. Featuring Mo Beasley (Urban Erotika), joined by singers DeAngela Napier and Jeff Jeudy, Johanna Gohmann (Bust), Gary Morgenstein (Loving Rabbi Thalia Kleinman), Cristy C. Road (Bad Habits) and Susan Wright (Confessions of a Demon), plus belly dancing by Sherri Eldin. Hosted by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Best Sex Writing 2010, Peep Show, Bottoms Up). Free chips, candy, mini peanut butter cups and 200 free cupcakes by Baked by Melissa will be served.

In the Flesh is a monthly reading series hosted at the appropriately named Happy Ending Lounge, and features the country's best erotic writers sharing stories to get you hot and bothered, hosted and curated by acclaimed erotic writer and editor Rachel Kramer Bussel. The series was named Best Reading Series by New York Press in 2009. From erotic poetry to down and dirty smut, these authors get naked on the page and will make you lust after them and their words. Since its debut in October 2005, In the Flesh has featured such authors as Laura Antoniou, Mo Beasley, Susie Bright, Lily Burana, Jessica Cutler, Mike Daisey, Stephen Elliott, Valerie Frankel, Polly Frost, Gael Greene, Andy Horwitz, Debra Hyde, Maxim Jakubowski, Emily Scarlet Kramer of CAKE, Josh Kilmer-Purcell, Edith Layton, Logan Levkoff, Suzanne Portnoy, Sofia Quintero, M.J. Rose, Lauren Sanders, Danyel Smith, Grant Stoddard, Cecilia Tan, Carol Taylor, Dana Vachon, Veronica Vera, Susan Wright, Zane and many others. The series has gotten press attention from the New York Times’s UrbanEye, Escape (Hong Kong), Flavorpill, The L Magazine, New York Magazine, New York Observer, Philadelphia City Paper, Time Out New York, Flavorwire, Gothamist,, and Wonkette, and has been praised by Dr. Ruth.

Performance Poet, Producer, and Writer, Mo Beasley, dubbed The Head Coach of Erotika, leads New York City’s longest running monthly erotic performance series. He also holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Theatre Arts/Acting from Howard University. Since 1997, Beasley has also cemented himself on the spoken word scene. The award-winning poet has performed or been featured at the legendary Nuyorican Poets Café, Joe’s Pub, American Museum of Natural History (with Sonia Sanchez) and The Kennedy Center, among other known stages. Beasley is also a member of the Spoken Word Committee of the NY Chapter of The GRAMMY’s.

When not at the mic, Beasley teaches poetry, as well as Family Life and Sexuality Education classes, to students and adults throughout New York City. His current and past clients include Children’s Aid Society, NYC Board of Education, Planned Parenthood, and Kaiser Permanente, among others. He also lectures regularly at institutions on topics ranging from fatherhood (Beasley became a father at 17 and a grandfather at 36) to new perspectives about human sexuality for the 21st century.

Mo Beasley is also the co-author No Good Nigga Bluez - a collection of “anti-nigga creative writings.” He is also editing UrbanErotika: The Anthology, as well as contributing to an anthology on fatherhood. The relevance of Mo’s work has not escaped the attention of the media. He has been interviewed by Rev. Al Sharpton, hip hop legend Chuck D, and has been quoted, profiled, or featured in New York Newsday, Amsterdam News, rolling out UrbanStyle Weekly, NRG, KISS FM (NYC), XM Satellite Radio, New York 1 News and several other local and national media.

Rachel Kramer Bussel is an author, editor, blogger and reading series host. She is Senior Editor at Penthouse Variations and a former sex columnist for The Village Voice. She’s edited numerous anthologies, two of which (Up All Night and Glamour Girls) have been Lambda Literary Award finalists, most recently The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories, Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories, Best Sex Writing 2009, Tasting Him, Tasting Her, and Spanked. Her writing been published in publications such as Clean Sheets, Cosmopolitan, The Daily Beast, Fresh Yarn, Huffington Post, Mediabistro, Newsday, New York Post, San Francisco Chronicle, Tango, The Village Voice, and Time Out New York, and in over 100 anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006. She has hosted In The Flesh since October 2005.

photo by Hilary McHone

Sherri Eldin is a frequent performer all over the city with her unique and alternative form of belly dancing. This summer she danced in her first music video with Brooklyn band ZO2, stars of IFC's "Z Rock." In addition to dancing, Sherri is an actress, singer/songwriter, storyteller, and writer.

Johanna Gohmann has written essays, articles, and reviews for Bust, Elle, Red, Publishers Weekly,,,, the Irish Independent and others. Her article for Bust entitled "The Vagina Dialogues" was selected for Best Sex Writing 2010, and her essay "Design a Vagina" will appear in the Best Women's Travel Writing 2010. A native of Indiana, she lived in New York City for just shy of a decade. She currently resides in Dublin, Ireland. She doesn't always write about vaginas. But she likes to.

Novelist/playwright Gary Morgenstein is the author of four novels. In addition to Loving Rabbi Thalia Kleinman, a romantic triangle about a divorced man who falls in love with a beautiful woman rabbi -- while still not over his ex-wife -- his novels include Jesse’s Girl, a thriller about a widowed father’s search for his adopted teenage son, the political baseball novel Take Me Out to the Ballgame, and the baseball book Rocky The Man Who Wanted to Play Center Field for the New York Yankees. His prophetic play Ponzi Man performed to sell-out crowds at a recent New York Fringe Festival. His other full-length work, You Can’t Grow Tomatoes in the Bronx, is in development.

DeAngela Napier began singing jazz and standards in Manhattan cabaret clubs when she moved to New York in the late 80s. Jeff Jeudy has been infused with music since he was a child and taught himself guitar riffs from KISS albums. Together this acoustic based duo formed a band and performed in and around New York city from 2002 - 2006. They built a following of diverse music lovers that identify with their songs of Life, Love, Loss, and Redemption. Although no longer a band, they occasionally perform and write together. DeAngela Napier is now a photographer who can be reached through her website at and Jeff Jeudy is a member of the band I Love Monsters and is a Graphic Designer who can be reached at

Cristy C. Road is a 26-year-old Cuban-American illustrator and writer. Blending social principles, sexual deviance, mental inadequacies, and social justice- she thrives to testify the beauty of the imperfect. Her career began in 1996, when publishing Green’Zine- a fanzine entirely devoted to Green Day. Eventually she began including blurbs on other punk rock bands, gender identity, masturbation, sexuality, aimless travel, and anarchist organizing. Green’Zine ran for ten years. Today, Road has published two illustrated novels, Indestructible and Bad Habits; and a postcard collection, Distance Makes the Heart Grow Sick. Aside from publishing, Road has been contributing art to punk rock, literature, radical organizing, and much more for the last ten years. Road currently is working on paintings, short stories, and her punk rock band The Homewreckers. She lives in Brooklyn with a short attention span and a killer gas problem.

Susan Wright is an activist and author. Her latest novel is an urban fantasy called Confessions of a Demon that will be published in December 2009. Other novels include the Slave Trade sf trilogy, and the fantasy duology To Serve and Submit and A Pound of Flesh, as well as 9 Star Trek novels. Susan is the spokesperson for the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and has lectured extensively on sexual freedom around the country. She received her masters from New York University, and lives in New York City with her husband Kelly Beaton.

You will hear from the following books:

Loving Rabbi Thalia Kleinman: Sex and Romance in God's House
by Gary Morgenstein

Confessions of a Demon
by Susan Wright

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Double X highlights my comment on "Hookers Give the Best Advice"

I'm working on a list of "10 Sites I'm Grateful For" - I thought of the idea at Thanksgiving. I have the sites, just working on gathering logos and writing them up. Anyway, one of them is Double X, Slate's women's interest blog. Great writing about all kinds of topics related to current events and pop culture and feminism and other things.

So I was thrilled to visit the site and see my comment on yesterday's "Hookers Give the Best Advice" article by Jessica Grose highlighted on the upper-right hand side. The article uses Ashley Dupre's new advice column for the New York Post as a jumping off point for a look at historical courtesans and madams and how their advice helped shape politics and the influence it had over powerful men.

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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Adventures in exhibitionism (aka toplessness)

It's pretty much official, so I better tell you to save the date: the evening of Thursday, January 28th, 2010, I'm getting my boobs cast at Shag. Yes, they do castings (any body part) and we're going to do it live, free, and open to the public, followed by a little soiree (it's me so I'm sure there will be cupcakes involved) and Peep Show: Erotic Tales of Voyeurs and Exhibitionists book signing). Oh, and we'll be donating the proceeds from the sale of my bust to charity (we're still working out which charity). I'm excited about being slathered in Vaseline and ogled.

Sunday I'm going to do a photo shoot, in part because I need new headshots, and in part to promote the event. Next time you're in Williamsburg (2 blocks from the Bedford L train stop, and right near the amazing massage givers at Greenhouse Holistic!), do check out Shag.

Shag Brooklyn
108 Roebling Street @ N. 6th Street
Brooklyn, NY 11211
L Train to Bedford

Tues-Thur & Sun 12-8pm
Fri & Sat 12-10pm
Mon closed but available by appt for custom castings
weloveshag at

And check this out...hello skull panties or bondage coasters or art or sex toys (or vagina lamp!):

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On preparing to read The Importance of Being Iceland: Travel Essays in Art by Eileen Myles

Everyone is talking about e-books these days, how they will change books, reinvent them, make what we think of as “books” obsolete. That may or may not be true, but for now, I want to hold on to one of the moments of reading I love best: opening up a new book. Holding it in my hand; I prefer to own it, because I’m greedy like that, but I make frequent use of the New York Public Library too. But at that moment, something magical awaits you. Or doesn’t, but you won’t know until you crack it open. I like to hold my books, devour the back cover text, though this time I didn’t. I started flipping through The Importance of Being Iceland: Travel Essays in Art (which for some reason I just typed twice as "England" even though part of what intrigued me was the theme of Iceland, because my aunt's from there), a book I was drawn when I first heard about it in an interview with Myles at The Rumpus, perhaps more for the title than for the author, Eileen Myles, who I’m a fan of, and who was in the audience and asked an interesting question yesterday at the CUNY panel on Pornography and the City, about teen sexuality.

I read a lot of books because I want them to be an escape. Easy. A rest for my mind from its ongoing spinning and cycling and list-making. Some books, though, are the opposite. They make me think, for if I am to give them a shot, I have to exercise my brain. And/or delight it with the words, the grappling and the sensations of the words, as opposed to just their meaning.

I must admit that this book scares me a little, not because of the book itself, but because of me. In it I know there are many topics I know little or nothing about – Iceland, poetry, art. I know I am coming at it not with some wealth of knowledge, but a beginner’s mind. I look through the table of contents and see many names I don’t recognize: Nicole Eisenman, Robert Smithson, Susanna Coffey, Martha Diamond, James Schuyler, Alice Notley, Ann Luaterbach. Peggy Ahwesh.

There are some I do know as I flip through – I know before confirming that “Allen” is Allen Ginsburg. I see Ntozake and would be astounded were Myles talking about anyone other than Ntozake Shange. I now who Björk is. But I like that. I want that. Crave it. Maybe need it. I want to learn things about writing and art and Iceland. I want to keep reading essays that start with lines like “Allen was more of a star than a homosexual.” And “I think this guy is wringing out his towel his dick is so huge.” As far as I know, I’ve only read one piece before, in the excellent anthology Live Through This, about flossing.

And best of all, as I read, I hear Myles’s unique, powerful, strong voice, the one I’ve heard at readings and on CDs and on YouTube, in my ear. I almost wish there were an audio version and I don’t even listen to audio books. So that’s what I’m thinking about as I prepare to sink into the pieces that make up The Importance of Being England: Travel Essays in Art.

And here’s a clip of Myles reading the poem “O”– she can say a hell of a lot in just over a minute.

Read excerpts and reviews at

But The Importance of Being England on Amazon

Official description from the publisher, Semiotext(e), who I first encountered at St. Mark's Bookshop when I saw and immediately grabbed Michelle Tea's first book The Passionate Mistakes and Intricate Corruption of One Girl in America - their front shelves always pull me in.

Poet and post-punk heroine Eileen Myles has always operated in the art, writing, and queer performance scenes as a kind of observant flaneur. Like Baudelaire's gentleman stroller, Myles travels the city—wandering on garbage-strewn New York streets in the heat of summer, drifting though the antiseptic malls of La Jolla, and riding in the van with Sister Spit—seeing it with a poet's eye for detail and with the consciousness that writing about art and culture has always been a social gesture. Culled by the poet from twenty years of art writing, the essays in The Importance of Being Iceland make a lush document of her—and our—lives in these contemporary crowds.

Framed by Myles's account of her travels in Iceland, these essays posit inbetweenness as the most vital position from which to perceive culture as a whole, and a fluidity in national identity as the best model for writing and thinking about art and culture. The essays include fresh takes on Thoreau's Cape Cod walk, working class speech, James Schulyer and Björk, queer Russia and Robert Smithson; how-tos on writing an avant-garde poem and driving a battered Japanese car that resembles a menopausal body; and opinions on such widely ranging subjects as filmmaker Sadie Benning, actor Daniel Day-Lewis, Ted Berrigan's Sonnets, and flossing.

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Win a copy of The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating & Sex

Publisher Chronicle Books sent me a copy of The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating & Sex to give away. Actually, they gave me two and one will be given away tomorrow night at In The Flesh Reading Series!

To enter, leave a comment along with an email address (use name at if you're worried about spam) to reach you telling me what your worst sex or dating experience ever has been. Winner will be chosen at random.

Deadline: December 30, 2009, 11:59 pm EST

Comments are moderated so please only leave your local bookstore.

You can also purchase the book at or wherever books are sold.

About the book:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating and Sex

The authors of the best-selling The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook are back—and they've brought a date. Whatever your own dating nightmares are, take it from the professionals, things can get worse. Just in time for Valentine's Day, here are dozens of scenarios covering every phase of the romantic—or not so romantic—turn of events. Learn how to remove stubborn articles of clothing, slip away from a blind date, and get rid of unsightly stains. Discover the secrets of dealing with a bad kisser and of surviving a meeting with your date's parents. Hands-on, step-by-step illustrated instructions help guide you through these and many more perils d'amor. Tasteful and useful, and with an appendix of great pickup lines, breakup lines, and all-purpose excuses, this is the book you need when you wake up next to someone whose name you can't remember.

Joshua Piven is a writer, editor, and Web site designer who lives in Philadelphia. He's ready for anything.

David Borgenicht is a Philadelphia-based writer whose own worst-case scenario involved a heavy-armored vehicle in Pakistan.

Jennifer Worick author of the journals My Dysfunctional Life and My Fabulous Life, has been hit on by some of the experts for this book. She, along with the other authors, lives in Philadelphia.

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Monday, December 14, 2009

My sexting advice for Tiger Woods

I wrote a piece about dos and don'ts of sexting for Tiger Woods (and you!) at The Daily Beast.

Here's a snippet:


1. Ask who else she’s seeing

“Do you have a boyfriend” and “who is your new boy toy,” Woods asked Grubbs. Not only is it not his business, it sours the mood he’s trying to create. Keep your texts about the relationship at hand, not possible outside entanglements.


1. Start slow

This doubles as good advice when it comes to putting the first move on someone. Don’t leap straight into explicit language until you know that’s what the other person’s into. Woods and Grubbs were already seeing each other once their risqué texts started flying. David Borgenicht, co-author of
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook, Dating and Sex, agrees. “Know your audience” is his first rule (this, I’d say, also applies to dirty talk). “Don't be overly blunt or crude if your sexting target is shy. When it comes to intimacy use double entendres and suggestive language rather than blunt statements of desire or graphic descriptions of actions you'd like to take.”

Read the rest at The Daily Beast (and be sure to check out the lively comments section).

There was a piece in The New York Times last week, "Text Messages: Digital Lipstick on The Collar," by Laura M. Holson and I really liked this part:

Sherry Turkle, a professor and researcher at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, has studied interaction with technology for more than two decades. Unlike with computers, Professor Turkle said, consumers have a deeply personal connection to their cellphones, where they keep contact lists and family photos. “They carry them in their pockets,” she said, “next to their skin.”

One woman Professor Turkle spoke to for a study was so grief-stricken after she had misplaced her cellphone that she described the loss as a death. “People feel it is an extension of their body and mind,” the professor said, but, she added: “Like Peter Pan, we do not see our electronic shadow until it is pointed out to us. We assume it is not there.”

I really liked this image, and it made me think about how and why texts are more personal then emails, and how it's easier to overlook emails. Sure, maybe you're getting hundreds of texts a day, but probably not, and certainly on an iPhone, they show up differently than email does. Plus your phone is the only device that's going to receive that text message, whereas an email can be retrieved from multiple sources.

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Friday, December 11, 2009

Win a $100 Johnny Cupcakes gift card at Cupcakes Take the Cake

Yes, it's true- through December 18th you can win a $100 Johnny Cupcakes gift card at Cupcakes Take the Cake. Make sure to bookmark our site (surely you have already?) or add it to your reader because we have more contests coming this month plus a host of holiday cupcakes.

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Thursday, December 10, 2009

Top 10 Sex Books of 2009 includes Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories!

Big thanks to Violet Blue for listing Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories (click to read the table of contents/intro) as one of the top 10 sex books of 2009 in the San Francisco Chronicle! I, um, am a fan of hotel sex, and look forward to having more of it in 2010.

4. Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories Edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel.

In a hotel room, anything can happen -- and in Bussel's good-to-the-last-page collection of superb erotic fiction, anything does happen. Quick and dirty, or just dirty and fun, all of the stories are complete tales of hardcore trysts, thanks to Bussel's expert curation and the authors' remarkable talents. Fantastic.

Me at the Do Not Disturb book trailer shoot (one of my favorite photos of myself ever - I remember that day so well!), photo by Stacie Joy

And here's the trailer, which was a lot of fun, including almost getting in trouble and requesting a fish and drinking champagne, to make!

More about Do Not Disturb, which also makes a great holiday gift!

Buy Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories at your local bookstore or from:



Watch me read from Isabelle Gray's Japanese love hotel story "So Simple a Place:"

Listen to Donna George Storey's hotel sex story "Room Service" read by Diva Diana on the Nobilis Erotica podcast

Table of Contents

Introduction: Made for Sex (see below)

Welcome to the Aphrodisiac Hotel by Amanda Earl
(read author interview about hotel sex)

Tightly Tucked by Alison Tyler
(read author interview about hotel sex)

From Russia with Lust by Stan Kent

Mirror, Mirror by by Andrea Dale

The Royalton--A Daray Tale by Tess Danesi
(read author interview about hotel sex)

So Simple a Place by Isabelle Gray

Heart-Shaped Holes by Madlyn March
(read author interview about hotel sex)

The St. George Hotel, 1890 by Lillian Ann Slugocki

The Lunch Break by Saskia Walker
(read author interview about hotel sex)
Memphis by Gwen Masters
(read author interview about hotel sex)

The Other Woman by Kristina Wright

Talking Dirty by Shanna Germain
(read author interview about hotel sex)
A Room at the Grand by Thomas S. Roche
(read author interview about hotel sex)

Tropical Grotto, Winter Storm by Teresa Noelle Roberts

G is for Gypsy by Maxim Jakubowski

Reunion by Lisabet Sarai

Hump Day by Rachel Kramer Bussel
(read "Hump Day" in its entirety at Bastard Life)

Guilty Pleasure by Elizabeth Coldwell
(read author interview about hotel sex)

An Honest Woman by Tenille Brown

Room Service by by Donna George Storey

(read author interview about hotel sex)

(read "Love Hotel Madness")

Introduction: Made for Sex

Hotel rooms are, in a word, hot. The minute I enter one, I want to strip off all my clothes and dive naked between the sheets, whether I have a lover there to share in the indulgence with me or not. Much more so than my own bed, hotel beds make me horny. They are, or at least, seem to me, to be made for sex.

Hotels give us the chance to unwind, relax, and, if we choose, become someone else. Behind closed doors, we are free to frolic, fuck, and flaunt ourselves. It doesn’t matter whether the hotel is in a faraway land or in your own hometown; the point is, it’s a clean slate. It’s not your home filled with all the reminders of what you could or should be doing. Other people have fucked and will fuck in the bed you’re about to sleep in; that can be a turn-on in and of itself. It’s your borrowed space, for an hour, a day, a night, or longer, and in that time, you can claim it, control it, use it for your own naughty purposes. Other guests are prowling the hotel, checking in, checking out, banging and getting banged against the wall. There’s a sense that anything can happenæand quite often, it does.

To me, the anonymity of hotel rooms, their personality wiped clean with each new guest, is part of their appeal. They beckon us with their welcoming ways. They offer an escape from the everyday, a chance to let loose and become someone else. In Do Not Disturb, I wanted to capture the ways hotels fit into our erotic imagination, whether they’re a necessity or a luxury. Hotels let us explore parts of our passion that get left behind in the rush of daily life.

The authors whose work you are about to read understand perfectly the allure of a fresh hotel roomæor a hotel lobby. Indeed, the entire atmosphere a hotel offers can simply scream of sex. This goes for five-star and by-the-hour joints. They each have something to add, and here you’ll find romps between lovers and strangers, reunions and quickies, as these characters indulge in their new settings.

Many of the characters here use hotels for secrecy, relying on the unspoken code of employees to never share what goes on. Others use them for flirting, for catching their prey. Many need a hotel room in order to engage in an affair or a roleplay. Whether exploring Japan’s love hotels in Isabelle Gray’s “So Simple a Place” or getting “A Room at the Grand” for a very special callgirl, the men and women you’ll read about get off on their surroundings. The hotel itself becomes a player in their affair, a sign of the lengths they’ll go to be together.

And this book wouldn’t be complete without some extramarital affairs that can only happen in hotel rooms, like the lovers in Lisabet Sarai’s “Reunion” or Gwen Masters’s “Memphis.” For these characters, the hotel room takes on added meaning for it is an ever-changing venue where their relationships grow, where they can savor each other’s bodies without their spouses knowing, or so they hope.

Hotel rooms are also perfect for quickies, those fast fucks that you only need an hour or so for, made all the more arousing for their brevity. In Saskia Walker’s “The Lunch Break,” a sultry waitress pounces on a diner, and in my “Hump Day,” a couple shed their business personae once a week to become the kind of people they could never be (or fuck) at home.

Even in the more innocent stories here, the vacation sex, the getaways among couples, there’s something just a little clandestine about these hotel room hookups. That air of perversion is what makes getting serviced in a hotel (or motel) infinitely sweeter than doing it anywhere else. It’s a private way of being an exhibitionist, of leaving the staff and fellow guests guessing (or parading around in your hotel robes). Sometimes it’s a neighbor who’ll lure you from the safety of your relationship, such as the lesbian who teaches Madlyn March’s protagonist a thing or two in “Heart-Shaped Holes,” or the way Elizabeth Coldwell’s fellow jurors wind up relieving some tension in between trial time.

There’s a hotel in New York, the Library Hotel, that has long intrigued me. They offer an Erotica Suite, filled with strawberries, whipped cream, red roses, erotic dice, Mionetto Presecca, edible honey dust, and a Kama Sutra pocket guide. They’re upfront in their intention that you truly savor their package, as well as your lover’s. I’ve never stayed there, or done more than pass by. In some ways, I prefer to keep its beauty safely tucked away in my imagination, the kind of room I’d use with a rich lover from out of town who’d seduce me with his or her accent, whisper to me in a foreign tongue before taking that foreign tongue and licking me all over. That’s another thing about hotel rooms: they are perfect to fantasize about. In them, and in your dreams about them, you can have any kind of sex with anyone (or everyone) you want.

I can tell you that the sex I’ve had in hotel rooms has been some of the hottest of my life. I get off on knowing that neighbors may hear me, and in fact, that brings out the exhibitionist in me. The sexiest porn director I know took me to his hotel room in Manhattan one night and while his porn star girlfriend was elsewhere, we indulged in one of the most dirty, powerful, delicious fucks I’ve ever had, and when he came all over my chest, I reveled in it. I didn’t wash it off, either, but proudly let it dry on my skin and couldn’t stop the smile that found its way to my lips as I took the subway home.

Once, in some random seedy L.A. hotel, another lover and I hadn’t brought any condoms, and instead had to make do with a paddle and a butt plugæpoor us. In a seedy Midtown motel, I spent a few hours romping with a very sexy young man who showed me all kinds of ways I could twist my body to extend my pleasure, then felt a shocked, naughty thrill as he entered the bathroom while I peed and watched me before dipping his fingers into the stream. Something I likely wouldn’t have allowed at home became acceptable in a place I’d likely never find myself again. And when I’m in a hotel room by myself, tucked away under the sheets, I feel naughty and decadent, even if the only party guests I’m hosting are my fingers and my pussy.

While I doubt hotels are going to be stocking this book in their dresser drawers alongside The Bible, I hope that it finds its way into hotel romps. I picture lovers reading aloud to one another as they get ready to mark their hotel room, or in the afterglow, perhaps leaving it behind for the next lucky guest. I hope hotel staff spirit it away and read it during their downtime. I hope the next time you enter a hotel lobby, even if you have no intention of getting busy with anyone you may find there, that you’ll at least notice the many erotic possibilities that greet you.

My most recent hotel rendezvous was at the ultra-fancy art-filled Chambers Hotel in Minneapolis. I was staying by myself for two nights, and while I didn’t share my bed, the room itself beckoned to me. I found myself getting horny as I dove between the covers, wishing I had a lover to share my good fortune with. Now I have this book, which I hope you’ll take with you on your travels, perhaps read it while lounging in a hotel lobby, or whisper from it into your lover’s ear before you make so much noise in your hotel room bed that someone calls security. However and wherever you read this book, I hope it turns you on as much as it does me.

Rachel Kramer Bussel

New York City

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I'm reading with Candida Royalle Tuesday, December 15th at Abiola's Kiss & Tell


see Abiola Abrams' site for
more information

And/or watch her video! I love this idea am totally stealing borrowing it for In The Flesh!

Abiola's Kiss & Tell

Storytelling & Performance Reading Series

A Party Like A Book Star-Studded Monthly Soiree

Bestselling Authors, Skanks, Intellectuals, Comics & Everyone In Between

Every 3rd Tuesday at MADAME X

94 West Houston Street between LaGuardia & Thompson

NYC's sexiest and most fun event.

FREE with $5 Kiss & Tell Champagne Cocktails

Drinks & Mingle at 7PM;

Show begins at 7:30PM SHARP.

December 15 Premiere Show

Debut Show Honoree CANDIDA ROYALLE, author of How to Tell A Naked Man What to Do and Feminist Erotica Pioneer.

Inaugural Readers & Performers: (alphabetical order)

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FREE Best Sex Writing 2010 postcards now available

We just finished booking the Oregon Best Sex Writing 2010 events - Sunday, February 21st at Tsunami Books in Eugene (2585 Willamette Street) and Monday, February 22nd at 7:30 at Powell's Books in Portland (1005 W. Burnside,), both free, featuring Michelle Perrot ("Anatomy of an Affair") and Janet Hardy ("The Portal"). Plus Mollena Williams ("BDSM and Playing With Race") reads March 18th at BDSM Night at In The Flesh Reading Series. Hopefully there will also be a reading in New York around that time (with Betty Dodson!). Booking Seattle (post-Portland), Minneapolis (probably March), Salt Lake City (probably March), and San Francisco (??) too.

Want your FREE Best Sex Writing 2010 postcard? Send your US (sorry, US only) mailing address to bestsexwriting at with "Postcard" in the subject line.

We just finalized the Table of Contents and WOW is this book going to be amazing!

Introduction: My Favorite Sexual Outlaws by Rachel Kramer Bussel (scroll down to read)

The Girl Who Only Sometimes Said No Diana Joseph
Secrets of the Phallus: Why is the Penis Shaped Like That? Jesse Bering
The Vagina Dialogues Johanna Gohmann
Sex Laws That Can Really Screw You Ellen Friedrichs
What Really Turns Men On John DeVore
It’s a Shame About Ray by Kirk Read
BDSM and Playing with Race Mollena Williams
Remembering Pubic Hair Paul Krassner
Sexual Outlaw Betty Dodson
Go Thin or Bust: How Berkeley's Mayer Laboratories won the battle of the thin condoms Rachel Swan
‘Sex Surrogates’ put personal touch on therapy Brian Alexander
What’s The Matter With Teen Sexting? Judith Levine
The Anatomy of An Affair Michelle Perrot
The Portal Janet Hardy
Bite Me! (Or Don’t) Christine Seifert
Hot. Digital. Sexual. Underground. David Black
Loving Lesbians by William Georgiades
Lust and Lechery in Eight Pages: The Story of the Tijuana Bibles Chris Hall
The Trouble With Safe Sex Seth Michael Donsky
Piece of Ass Monica Shores
The Future of Sex Ed Violet Blue
A Cunning Linguist John Thursday
SWL(actating) F Seeks Sex With No Strings Attached Rachel Sarah
Toward a Performance Model of Sex Thomas MacAulay Millar
The Client Voyeur debauchette

Best Sex Writing 2010 Introduction: "My Favorite Sexual Outlaws"

If there is a theme to this year’s anthology, I’d like to think it’s one of being a sexual outlaw, echoing the title of Betty Dodson’s essay. Because it’s the outlaws who, I’d like to think, are getting the most out of sex. That’s not to say that we should all be off having unconventional sex for the sake of being an outlaw, but rather that instead of listening to and blindly adhering to the conventional wisdom about sex, we need to create our own.

We see this theme in the pieces here about sex work, which defy the “sex worker as victim” trope to evoke new ideas about sex work and the people who engage in it as well as those who purchase sex. In “It’s a Shame About Ray,” Kirk Read is actually the one left wanting, when his client, Ray, knows exactly what he wants, and gets it. Read is left a bit wistful, wishing Ray had occupied him for a full evening rather than a mere two hours. In many ways, debauchette experiences the same thing when she’s hired by a voyeur. “The intensity reminded me what it felt like to want, and not have. He hadn’t touched me, but in all the silence and focused attention, I’d slowly let go of my resistance, transformed from defensive affectation to open, raw lust,” she writes.

John DeVore, one of the few straight men writing a regular sex column (for, challenges his fellow males to fess up to not necessarily lusting after Megan Fox—or at least, not exclusively lusting after Megan Fox. Paul Krassner takes us back in time to an era when Brazilian bikini waxes weren’t the norm, lamenting the loss of pubic hair. For William Georgiades, stepping out of the straight male norm and into Northampton, Massachusetts, where “I soon found that the only people who were making sense to me were the die-hard gay grrrls.” He navigates the tension between being a straight man, a breeder, and falling for women who sometimes, maybe, wanted him, in “Loving Lesbians,” one of several essays here that defy our need to put labels neatly around sexuality. (Betty Dodson says it much more emphatically, giving herself this advice when it came to the dreaded “S/M” label: “Embrace the label to destroy its power over you.”)

One of the most cherished tropes about sex is that monogamy, and marriage, are what will make us happy. That the two are intertwined is a given even in an era when acts like BDSM and alternative sexualities are more accepted. That’s why a piece like “The Anatomy of an Affair” by Michelle Perrot (a pseudonym) is so powerful. She’s claiming her marriage and her sexual autonomy, stating:

I don’t want 1950s-style advice about “date nights” and lingerie and role-playing. I don’t want to “spice up my marriage.” I want rough sex. Dirty, spit in his mouth sex. Wet, disgusting, nasty talk about pussies and cum and fuck-me sex. The kind of hate fucking where afterward you can’t move. And the bottom line is that I don’t want that kind of sex with my husband, this man I love.

Each of these authors has inspired me to think about sex in a new way, to not accept the norms, whether it’s Diana Joseph defending her slutty self to both herself and her son, Judith Levine reassuring us that sexting is not the evil of teenage life it’s thought to be, or Rachel Sarah weighing in on the erotic allure of breastfeeding. Noted sex and tech expert Violet Blue schools us on where our country needs to go if our sex education is truly going to serve the people it needs to, while Jesse Bering giving us a science lesson all about cock (okay, he calls it the phallus or the penis, but cock is my personal favorite word for that particular body part).

Some of the pieces here may unnerve you: Mollena Williams’s extended meditation on “BDSM and Playing with Race” is thoughtful, honest, brave and at times, disturbing. I’ve included it because this is one of the most taboo topics, along with the realities of safer sex that Seth Michael Donsky uncovers. Williams calls humiliation a “delicate balancing act,” and while the specific type of race-based play she’s talking about takes that to an extreme, I think sex itself, and sexual fantasy, are so often very delicate balancing acts where we are trying to make sense of the insensible, or perhaps, the opposite, letting ourselves lose our senses only to find something that defies logic, sense, smarts, and instead stems from the body. “For me, humiliation is a broad-brush full-bore way for me to feel the worst of how I feel about myself, give it away to someone, and have them hold it. Once someone else holds it up for me, mirrors it back, shows me the depth of my own feelings, my self-deprecation, I can see it for what it is,” writes Williams.

Each of these writers brings a powerful way of looking at sex to this book. I’d love to hear what you think and welcome your suggestions for future editions of Best Sex Writing—feel free to contact me at and read more about the series and my guidelines at

I’d also like to add that some people have commented that the erotic covers on these books trick people into thinking there will be more arousing material than what’s actually inside. To me, though, as an ultimate voyeur, reading about other people’s turn-ons, unearthing their sexual secrets, seeing how the other halves live, is not just educational or entertainment. It enhances my sex life because it leads me to new possibilities. These authors, the smart, daring, provocative sexual outlaws, have taught me about biology, nonmonogamy, cybersex, and so much more. I hope these essays and articles speak to your brain, as well as other organs, and at the very least, clue you in that sex is a lot bigger, broader and more complicated than you ever expected.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City

It is available for pre-order from:




For now, please check out: - info on all the editions, including writing guidelines for Best Sex Writing 2011

Best Sex Writing 2009

Best Sex Writing 2008

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Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Call for submissions: Nobilis Erotica podcast

Submission Guidelines for Nobilis Erotica - via Nobilis Erotica. I can say that this podcast is professional, sexy and a wonderful treat. I was so honored to have my story "The Depths of Despair" from Spanked: Red-Cheeked Erotica read by Danielle A. Nelson, and this is an opportunity to share your work in a way that may be new to most writers. Plus hearing your work read aloud by a professional is a very exciting experience (well, it was for me). You realize that the words take on a life of their own and that someone else may interpret certain details in a way you hadn't necessarily. I admit that I don't practice what I preach - I do proof my stories before sending them out, but I don't do a big ole' dramatic reading, which means sometimes at In The Flesh I'm caught off guard.

Before you start: Pay attention to the two calls for submission. Everyone is invited to submit to Nobilis Erotica, but not all submissions will be handled the same.

"Roses and Chocolate" is open to male authors only. "Steak and Beer" is open to female authors only. If your personal gender definition doesn't fit neatly into one classification or the other, then pick whichever one is closest and go with it. Submissions to "Roses and Chocolate" will be evaluated from the point of view of a female audience, and "Steak and Beer" submissions from the point of view of a male audience. All stories must be science fiction, paranormal, or fantasy, and must be between 2,000 and 4,000 words. If your story does not take these requirements into account, no matter how good it is, it will not be considered.

We are open to using stories which have been published elsewhere, including excerpts. You must, however, be certain that you are in a position to grant us audio rights to your story. Check your contracts carefully before submitting.


All stories must be submitted to as a rich text (.rtf) file attached to the email. All submissions MUST be in the following format: •12pt Times New Roman or Ariel font •One and a half spaced throughout with an extra space between paragraphs •No indents on paragraphs •Formatting limited to italics for emphasis; no bold, underline, or special fonts. Your email should include:

•The author's biography between 100 and 200 words. •A link to the author's website, if any

•Statement of ownership: "I declare that (title) is my original work and I have complete ownership of it. I have the right to give my permission for Nobilis Erotica to publish it in audio form on the Nobilis Erotica podcast."

•Pronunciation of the author's name (or pen name), if there could be any question as to how it is pronounced

•Author's legal name and address (this is for internal use only and will not be made public)

•Contact email address (if different from the submitting email address) We will acknowledge receipt within a week; the decision as to whether to run it may take some time longer.

Content: We are not interested in publishing material that depicts sexual situations where consent is not given (rape or strong coercion) and where adult, informed consent cannot be given (such as necrophilia, incest, or bestiality). These topics may be referred to "offscreen" for story purposes as necessary, but we reserve the right to reject such stories even in those circumstances.

Compensation: Nobilis Erotica is not, at this time, providing payment for stories published in the podcast.

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Monday, December 07, 2009

Too busy to blog

There's so much going on, I've barely had time to update this blog. For more frequent postings, check the Tumblr.

Next week's got lots of events, including the last In The Flesh of the year, with belly dancer!

I'm putting together my talk for this panel next Tuesday 2-4 (which got a listing in The New Yorker), gathering advance reviewers for Best Sex Writing 2010 (hint, hint! email me at rachelkb at with your mailing address and profile URL if you want a copy - must review by 1/15 on, sortof trying to plan a New Year's vacation (slow going on that), writing and holiday card/gift shopping. And cupcake blogging - I was quoted in yesterday's New York Daily News about cupcakes. Actually this weekend I was incredibly slothful and am trying to make up for it.

“Pornography in the City”

A symposium at CUNY Graduate Center’s James Gallery
Tuesday December 15, 2009, 2–6 p.m.

Free and open to the public
Cosponsored by the Center for the Humanities

Pornography in the City takes up the questions posed by Peeps, the James Gallery’s Spring 2009 exhibition on New York peep show arcades in the 1960s and 70s.

In an afternoon of discussion, we revisit the modes of spectatorship and social networks the peep arcades inadvertently spawned. Invited scholars, critics, and artists evoke histories of non-normative sexualities and regulation in urban spaces, and consider current relationships between public sex and private experiences.

Divided into two panels, the first session, Pornography, Peep Shows and Public Space, questions the public/private nexus in historically-located urban, commercial situations. The second, Pornography and Its Representation, rethinks categories of viewing and voyeurism, art and porn, experience and consumption.

Participants include Douglas Crimp, Jeff Escoffier, Linda Ford, Dagmar Herzog, William Kornblum, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Bjarne Melgaard, Melissa Ragona, and Amy Herzog CUNY Media Studies professor & curator of “Peeps.”

Friday, December 04, 2009

An affair that doesn't involve Tiger Woods

As you may or may not know, the theme of Best Sex Writing 2010 is "Sexual Outlaws," taken from Betty Dodson's essay of the same name (click above to read the introduction) that's in the book. In a week when affairs, Tiger Woods' in this case, are omnipresent in the news, let's have a look at a wanted affair, one that nobody is going to have to usher a major public apology for because its author is claiming it happily, lustily, and intelligently before it happens.

Here's an excerpt from "Anatomy of an Affair" by Michelle Perrot - I will have more information from the author about this very hot topic. Media: Best Sex Writing 2010 review copies are available now. Email rachelkb at or Brenda Knight at Cleis Press at bknight at with your publication and mailing address.

I don’t want 1950s-style advice about “date nights” and lingerie and role-playing. I don’t want to “spice up my marriage.” I want rough sex. Dirty, spit in his mouth sex. Wet, disgusting, nasty talk about pussies and cum and fuck-me sex. The kind of hate fucking where afterward you can’t move. And the bottom line is that I don’t want that kind of sex with my husband, this man I love.

For a number of years, of course, I assumed I would forgo this sort of sex. It was worth it to keep my marriage intact. Marriage is about compromise. It’s about some degree of sacrifice. Honestly, if what I would have to sacrifice were something other than the sort of sex that most fills me, I’d be happy to oblige. But sexual desire is so intensely personal, so completely something you don’t control. I can’t just decide that I will no longer crave that sort of sex, and our desires don’t always fit well with the monogamy our culture demands.

The running psychological theory is that we eroticize what has shamed, hurt, or frightened us, that our “lovemap cartographic systems,” as described by John Money, the famous John Hopkins psychologist, are learned. If that’s true, it could be argued that I spent my childhood feeling helpless, unable to control the ways in which my parents emotionally wounded me. As the years went by I tried to control the world where it felt out of control. I pursued men vigorously. I yelled at them when they hurt me, tried to force them into being who I wanted them to be. These were the men I had the best sex with, the ones who wanted to make clear who was really in charge once we got in the bedroom, the kind who made me go blind mid-orgasm, who told me my pussy was so wet and their cocks were aching with need for me, who smacked my ass while we did it from behind. These were the kind of men I never would have married. I wanted to get married, to share my life with someone.

I chose my husband because he was not one of these men.

Best Sex Writing 2010 will be in stores in about two weeks and we are finalizing the 6-city book tour now (New York, San Francisco, Eugene, Portland, Minneapolis and Salt Lake City, with other cities pending).

You can also read more at the Best Sex Writing 2010 blog.

Available from your local independent bookstore via IndieBound or:



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My Julie Powell Cleaving interview at The Daily Beast

Monday morning I flew home on a redeye. Monday night I went to The Meat Hook in Williamsburg to interview Julie Powell about her new memoir Cleaving: A Story of Marriage, Meat, and Obsession. I'm a little sad that the video we shot didn't come out, but hopefully in the future my flipcam will be in effect. Mostly I'm grateful I was able to do my job; 2 hours before I was sobbing hysterically with snot running out of my nose. Story for another time. Also good lesson: always find out exactly what will be happening in advance, take an author photo (especially when she's standing next to hunks of dead meat), and believe that everything will be okay. Sorry if it's obnoxious to link that way, but maybe that's a clue - I really want you to click through and read it since it's pretty much the only thing of substance I've done this stuffy-headed emotionally insane week!

Early reviews have shown as much squeamishness about the details of her affair as the gorier aspects of tearing apart hunks of meat. “My exploration of my sexual life felt like something I needed to write about,” she says. “It makes people uncomfortable. They get embarrassed for me, which I think is adorable, but if I get unhappy, that’s my problem; you don’t need to worry about me. I don’t like to be a big conspiracy theorist or feminist crazy person, but men have been writing about this for a long time. Maybe I don’t know what the f--- I’m getting into, but I wrote the book, I’m OK with it. You can criticize me all you like, but what you can’t do is say, ‘You’re a skanky, adulterous self-involved twit,’ because I wrote that already! It’s done; yes, that’s true.”

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My interview with Erica Kennedy, author of "bitch lit" novel Feminista

I interviewed Erica Kennedy
, author of "bitch lit" novel Feminista (seen above reading at last month's In The Flesh) for The Frisky. We'd done a 5,000 word Q&A via email (crazy, I know) that I had to drastically cut down so I tried to keep the most interesting parts, including this Prince story that in the book is about "The Raven," kindof a fictionalized tranny version of him. We (well, really, Erica) also discussed her book cover in relation to the Justine Larbalestier Lair cover saga, why female ambition is seen as bad in Hollywood, Oprah's Vogue cover, and more.

My Prince interview is such an awesome and unbelievable story. I had just started writing professionally after quitting my PR job at Tommy Hilfiger. I had sent my clips to In Style and one Friday afternoon they left me a frantic message. Turns out they wanted me to interview The Artist (as he was called then) and it could happen at any moment so they wanted to have me on standby. Of course, I’m psyched, but I’m also suspicious because they had never worked with me and I was so green. So I asked, “Why me?” They tell me he specifically asked for an African-American female writer and I thought, Out of the whole Time, Inc. network, I’m all you got? At that point in my career, anybody would have been more qualified than me!

Read the entire interview with Erica Kennedy about Feminista

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