I'll be wearing the "sluttier" t-shirt ironically

I was just about to write a long, self-absorbed, sad, obsessive post about how I'm over dating, I'm hibernating, and I'm gonna be a single mom sometime before 2010. While that may very well be the case and after an awesome Valentine's night Rejection Show, I was faced with the inevitable rejection that I should've expected, I am all psyched to wear some hot bra and cut up my "sluttier" t-shirt for this:

On Tuesday, February 27th, LVHRD will invite New Yorkers to participate in a new kind of dating experience; one designed to examine human interactions in intimate settings, and make as many matches as possible. Through unique challenges and audience interaction, LVHRD will break down the wall between participants and audience, making everyone a player.

Guests will be instructed to wear a certain color T Shirt before the event. This color will correspond with their dating status with Black representing “Taken,” Red representing “Available,” and White representing “Maybe yes, maybe no.”

Upon entering the venue, guest’s photos will be taken and logged in the LVHRD dating database, created for the event. Attendees will also be asked a few short questions to aid in the matchmaking. A location in the event space will allow for “video personals” to be recorded and played in other places in the venue.

As Happy Corp. is now pretty much the epicenter of my social life, it's only fitting that I rock this contest. I can't wait!

The most ironic thing is that I totally thought that with the end of my Lusty Lady column, dating would get away easier. Ha! I thought without the pressure to come up with something every two weeks I'd be free from all the baggage, labels and bullshit that come with the words "sex columnist," but alas, once a sex columnist, always a...fill in your favorite pejorative word here. The ironic part is that I could pretty much care less about sex. Bring on the sexless marriage as long as I get knocked up a few times. I say that only half-jokingly, cause sure, I'd like it all, but if I'm gonna be realistic and realize that I'm probably not gonna have everything I want, I will focus on what I really do want: babies! I keep reading about the male biological clock, in Elle and from Rachel Sarah and elsewhere and maybe it's a New York thing, but it seems like other ladies have the honor of getting knocked up, not me. That's fine, though, as this is gonna be my year to buckle down, pay off my loans, and get to a place where it's DIY all the way. Unless, you know, some hot, artsy LVHRD-er sweeps me off my feet.