A belated weekend update

I had a really fabulous weekend, the first one in a really long time. Friday was a very long day and I was a little on edge and Friday night was perhaps not the best, but it was still fun. I went to Nina Hartley’s book party for Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex at Madame X, and before that had some yummy Thai food at Boyd Thai, where I was highly amused when my date asked them to change the music because the James Blunt CD was going for the second time. It’s just something I would never in a million years do. In this case, it wasn’t bothering me, but even if it was, I wouldn’t have said anything. I am so, so concerned about not bothering anyone else that I sometimes do things that are not in my best interest because I don’t know how the other person would respond to me making a stink. And by “don’t know how the other person would respond,” I mean, am petrified that they will banish me from their lives or somehow suddenly hate me if I challenge them. That’s not something I’m proud of; though I do want to find a happy medium. Anyway, after that we went to Madame X and ran into GirlyNYC, who told me that Michael Malice and Jessica Cutler, two of the sickest, most perverted, sarcastic, and totally lovable New Yorkers I know, were there. I hadn’t seen either in a really long time and it was really nice to have Malice give me shit about things (only from him would I be called a prude!) and just make me laugh. The vibe of the party got really strange; this guy was trying to sell the guys in our group these LED displays and flammable watches, some people across from us were almost having sex, and there was just a lot of madness. I got to say hi to Nina, who told me she definitely wants to do more comedy gigs, and congratulate her on her gorgeous new book, which really is so classy on the outside, yet dirty and unflinchingly honest and insightful inside. Then later Nichelle showed up, and she and I caught up on vital life insights (aka gossip) for a while, and also chatted with Anthony Lappe about books and babies, namely his adorable four-month-old daughter.

Saturday I ran around shopping madly, finally bought a winter coat and got a really pretty black lace and purple top at Arden B along with a cool chunky silver bracelet. I guess I was a good customer cause I signed up for their customer card and already got a phone call about a sale they’re having next week. I’ll be away, but still, I like their stuff and am really into the purple top and even almost excited for the cold to bundle up in the coat. I’ve been in this weird must-spend-money-and-buy-clothes mood lately, I think cause I’ve been a bit behind on my writing and when things are falling apart, I kindof tend to make them worse. But I was happy that I could walk out the door and feel good about my outfit.

Next step: figuring out a place for everything so that I know where all these yummy new clothes actually GO. But anyway, we were off to an open wedding party that I knew very little about at Good World Bar. So we go and it’s really chilly out, and we say hi to the bride and groom, Lilli Higa and Dan Goldman, more on them another time but definitely click through for their amazingness, and then go inside, and almost immediately there were people who knew of me, or knew me. It felt really good because everyone was so smart and artistic and into this whole comics scene that I know nothing about. I was kindof nervous, hence the shopping. Right away though I was chatting away with people like we were old friends, and this super nice girl sitting next to me even had Caught Looking and was excited about cupcakes. Then I started talking to Brett Jackson, of The Abraham Lincoln Logs, but we had to kindof scream across the table as he explained to me why porn stars go to Comic-Con and we compared levels of nerdiness, and I also chatted with his lovely wife Emily. Then our food arrived; not knowing what else to get, I opted for Swedish meatballs, and I must say, they were delish. My date got herring and then proceeded to tell us all about the “delicacy” of spoiled herring and it kindof sounded gross to me but I was just glad I didn’t have to eat it. I also met Larry Smith of SMITH Magazine and Jahfurry, who is responsible for hooking me up with all these people. Ah, the power of MySpace…Jahfurry recognized me at a Heeb party two weeks ago and we started chatting and he introduced me to a bunch of cool people.

I’m not gonna go into too much about it here but I’ve been really happy the last week with this new person I’m seeing. I think I’d forgotten what that whole getting to know someone process is like, and, well, I like it. Has made me think about a lot of things but in relation to Saturday night, the other really nice thing was that we were each talking to different people throughout the night and then we’d reconvene, and I just felt really proud to both be this person’s date and have him be mine. It’s been so long that I can barely remember when I used to go to parties with someone, I guess it was with K., and I have to say, we were quite the dazzling pair. I liked how people remembered us, we were “those crazy girls.” There were so many good times and I think I’m finally ready to focus on those rather than the bad times.

Anyway, especially this summer at all the weddings I attended and lately just at a lot of parties where everyone’s in pairs, I realized that I am almost always on my own and the difference was pretty striking. Sometimes I really love going home along to my own place with my stuff wherever I want it, and I don’t have to talk to anyone or make conversation or do anything but lie around if I so choose. But it was really nice to have someone to go home with, or to, I’m not really sure what the proper wording is. It just made me feel cozy and happy and part of something bigger than just myself.

The other part of the whole thing I realized is that people, even single people, aren’t completely isolated. They come attached to whole groups of other people and that’s why it’s really important to me to have good people surrounding me, because in a lot of ways, your friends do speak for you. I don’t want to have friends who I can’t trust or who I have to say, “You know, she’s really great, except for . . .” I love that I can say, “That’s my friend, he makes music or runs a show or she bakes and blogs” or whatever it is. I like that I can go to any bookstore and see my friends’ work, that I can connect cool artists with cool artists and do my little version of platonic, professional, creative matchmaking. I like having people in my life I can be excited about, and proud of, and who I know are proud of me right back. I was totally honored that anyone at that party knew who I was, but even moreso because I knew they weren’t like “I saw your tits on the Internet” but they were like “I’ve read your interviews.” It made me feel like even at this random gathering there was some sense of home and that I wasn’t just there as someone tagging along but like I belonged there. So that’s my longwinded way of saying I had a really great Saturday. Sunday I got to see my mom, who’s in town from Italy (!! I know, I know, it still feels weird to say it). We wandered all over the city, I made my virgin visit to Gracious Home and touched a $350 sweater and recoiled at the pricetag. I saw Little Miss Sunshine and even though I was tired and fell asleep in the beginning, I really liked it.