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Lusty Lady

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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Sex with the sex columnist

I'm so happy that I met Judy McGuire, because not only is she one awesome chica, she writes a fabulous column (Dategirl), snarky and witty blog and always seems to get where I'm coming from. Or vice versa, in this case - we have both been through the drama of having guys interested in us only because we write a sex column. I feel like anyone who meets me and talks to me for more than 2 seconds should hopefully realize that while, yes, many of my conversations revolve around sex, I'm actually so not interested in talking about myself in that way. I would much rather do like I did tonight, which is attend the NYC Beard & Moustache Championships but spend most of the night at a table in the back chatting with two of the awesomest women in the NYC comedy scene, Sara Jo Alloco and Brandy Barber. I could talk to them for hours about all kinds of things and we bonded over books, bad dates, waxing, sex and food. Also, check out Brandy's article in the latest issue of BUST about Stop Staring! clothing, and her review of Spike Gillespie's book Pissed Off. I'm trying to get them to come with me on Monday to go see Hillary Carlip (really, you should come too - I don't go to all that many readings cause, well, I get bored. Awful thing for a person who runs a reading series to say, but there you have it. So when I urge you to go to a reading, it's cause I am pretty sure it's gonna be something special. After all, Hillary has juggled, eaten fire, danced in Xanadu, almost worked with Debbie Gibson, stalked Carole King, and says she wanted to bitch-slap Oprah. Come on!)

So back to Judy - her latest column is a follow up to the first one, about all the wrong reasons to have sex (inspired by her true confession at last month's In The Flesh. Speaking of which, I'm gonna do true confessions again, probably in January or February.). This time around, she's writing about wrong reasons people have had sex with her.

Holy crap! She writes that sex column! I've gone on several dates with men who (I found out much later) only wanted to date me because I write about sex. Far from flattering, I found having someone quote me to me over dinner deeply unnerving. My friend Rachel Kramer Bussel, who writes the Lusty Lady column for The Village Voice, has had similar experiences. "Generally, I get the sense that people either see me as some total wanton, horny sexpot and/or this girl they can experiment sexually with and then walk away as if I have no feelings whatsoever," she commiserated.

So there you have it. Though I think the reason not to treat people like that is not because they're a sex columnist, but because they're a person.

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