Books go behind the velvet rope

First there was Lauren Weisberger's barely readable Everyone Worth Knowing - for the record, I did read it but was totally bored by pretty much all the characters and really just found nothing redeeming about it.

But I did think it was interesting to see these forthcoming titles (all gleaned from Amazon.com, book covers where available):

Confessions from the Velvet Ropes: The Glamorous, Grueling Life of Thomas Onorato, New York's Top Club Doorman by Glenn Belverio, Thomas Onorato (St. Martins Griffin, July 11)

Tabloid Love: Chasing Hot Prospects on Deadline by Bridget Harrison (Perseus Book Group, June 30)

From the catalog description, it sounds like they're going for a Carrie Bradshaw type of story, playing up her personal drama against the backdrop of her job at The New York Post. And OF COURSE I want to read it, both for curiosity's sake and for the same gossipy, entertainment value I want to read any book like this, say, The Washingtonienne. I'm happy to read chick lit, light, fun, girlie, for lack of a better word, books, as long as I'm getting something out of it. Carrie Bradshaw as a character bored me to tears (even though I loved SATC) because she just seemed so clueless and morose and not real. I'd rather read about someone crazy and outrageous and fun than her any day.

But Enough About Me: How a Suburban Jersey Girl Got Behind the Velvet Rope Through Shameless Flattery, Disturbingly Meticulous Research, and a Few Other Tricks by Jancee Dunn (Harpercollins, June 1)

But Enough About Me was previously titled Like a Complete Unknown and has got to be vying for one of the longest book titles, though maybe that's a trend, too - Jen Lancaster's funny sorority girl-turned-blogger story is called Bitter is the New Black : Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office and yes, they've squeezed all of that onto the cover.

4% Famous by Deborah Schoeneman (Shaye Areheart Books, May 9)

4% Famous

The Velvet Rope Diaries by Daniella Brodsky (Berkley Trade, April 4)

The Velvet Rope Diaries

This one clearly looks like nothing more than ripoff of Weisberger's book, which is pretty funny because that's not something I'd want to brag about. Also, is throwing "Diaries" into your book title the new "Confessions Of..." or what?

Semi-related:

The Last Days of Dead Celebrities by Mitchell Fink (Miramax-Weinstein, May 17)

Teen People: Celebrity Style Guide by Editors of Teen People Magazine (Teen People, June 20)

50 Things Every Guy Should Know How to Do: Celebrity and Expert Advice on Living Large by Daniel Kline, Jason Tomaszewski (Plume, April 25)

Is it me, or is their definition of celebrity, well, stretching it? See for yourself:

50 Things Every Guy Should Know How to Do

Amazon description:

The guy’s guide to 50 essential skills—by the guys (and gals) who know best

From picking the right beer to running for elected office, this is an indispensable guide to the skills that every well-rounded male should master. Daniel Kline and Jason Tomaszewski go straight to the experts, obtaining advice from:

• Amarillo Slim, poker legend, on No-Limit Texas Hold ’Em
• Carson Kressley, cohost of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on dressing for a date
• Gene Upshaw, director of the NFLPA, on making a business deal
• Senator Joe Lieberman, on running for office
• Kevin O’Connor, host of This Old House, on home improvement
• Tera Patrick, adult film star, on turning a woman on

For every guy who’s ever wondered how to start a business, get a job in sports, survive in prison—or cook the perfect steak—50 Things Every Guy Should Know How to Do is the one irreplaceable source for all the answers.