Susie Bright on New York magazine's "sex issue"

Susie Bright writes about the New York magazine sex issue:

I like chick candor. But I think the soft flesh is missing from a great deal of the current crop of most-hyped writers.  It's like that book "How To Make Love Like a Porn Star" which doesn't once discuss making love. There's no there there.

These publishing decisions are made by media executives who look at the success of "Sex and The City," and say, "Ah yes! What we need is more chatty, acquisitive, materialistic celebration of the most shallow and superficial elements of sex in our culture."  Bring it on, indeed.

You may read the latest sexgirl's exclamations of exhibitionism (ohmigod i walked down the street without my Victoria's Secret thong and my boss would die if he knew!)  but we never get to hear about the breeze that caresses her cunt, or the intimate risks of trading shopping for sex.

As for me, I've made my peace with the article. I'd have written it differently, don't really think it added much to any conversation about sex, and was disappointed that it didn't feature more of the interesting parts of our conversation, not to mentioned pandered to this idea that we can't all do what we'd like with our own sex lives, but it's fine, and clearly, a lot of people read it. But it was also a journalistic lesson for me: what you read is not always "what happened." It's funny because people quibble with me over my lame-ass stupid interviews, and I know they're not really lame-ass and stupid, it's just that I don't get paid anything, while these people get paid more than I get to edit my books, and it's frustrating. It's hard not to feel worthless when you're not getting paid, but anyway, my point is, it's funny because people quibble with me over tiny things and then I'm painted in such broad strokes, and we all look awful in the photo, and are supposed to be happy about it. But whatever. I'm really OVER people bashing people because, um, they have sex. Or because they don't. But I'm not really here to fight anyone else's battles for them, I just see how easily anyone's anger at any woman descends into calling her a bitch, slut, whore, adulterer, homewrecker, etc. It's such a fucking slippery slope, one that's all too easy, and I see that across the board. Not quite sure why people want to tell me the bad things they think about my friends, but it's okay, I can take it, and I am just glad I'm capable of making decisions not based on conventional wisdom. As I said to someone who was complaining about something another friend wrote about them on her blog - you just can't control what people will think about you. That's such a given, and it's a hard one for me but at the end of the day, I think we all have to know who we are and believe in ourselves independently of what anyone else, whether our worst enemies or biggest fans, thinks. You can't rely on those false sources, because they'll fuck with your head and lead you down roads that ultimately are totally unhealthy. I just have to work on myself and make the best decisions for myself, and not worry about what everyone else is doing. Sure, I wish I were making more money, weren't haggling over this and that, had more control over my book publication schedule, but I also know I'm incredibly lucky to be given so many opportunities, and I don't want to be a greedy spoiled brat about it. I would write even if I couldn't make a dime from it, and I have to remember that, and remember what I'm doing this for - for that feeling of euphoria when it all comes together well. For knowing I can string words together and make some sort of sense. For when a blank page transforms itself into something that hadn't even occurred to me.

Also, one quick note on Susie's take - those are not my beloved Fluevogs I'm wearing, but these cool new Skechers heels I bought. I do adore my Fluevogs and they are super comfy. And someone from Sweet Action was originally slated to also be part of the roundtable, not sure what happened.