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Monday, October 10, 2005

Miriam Datskovsky's Sexplorations column, "Bittersweet Dreams"

She's done it again - my awesome new friend Miriam Datskovsky has written a brilliant column for the Columbia Spectator that makes me marvel at her ability to write about sex in such a seamless, honest, intelligent way - and she's only 20! Seriously, this is a great column, about sleep, sex and the intersection (or not) of the two:

Equating the desire to sleep with someone with a quest for comfort and security is the easy part; it’s figuring out why you’re searching for that comfort and security that’s hard...

There’s a power play involved in the decision to sleep (or not) with someone. It can be satisfying to leave somebody you don’t care much for alone in his or her bed; it often feels violating and insulting when somebody you do care for leaves you all by yourself.

Maybe it’s because we live in a world in which sex can be so easy that sleep becomes so hard. When sex comes with little or no commitment, sleep suddenly does. Something has to. It might be easy to be sexually intimate, but that’s not to say that sexual freedom—for all its benefits—doesn’t come without a cost.


Seriously, check out the whole thing (complete with a historical quote about the phrase "to sleep with" from King Alfred). Miriam is definitely someone to watch and read closely - she conveys very important things about sex and its meaning, and is just a natural writer. And I love that she posted an ad on Craigslist as part of her research for the column.

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